Remember Who You Are
by ZupertrixNovels
Summary: Max's POV. This story is what I think Max should've done after William's death. It is rather sad but I'm setting the stage for future stories. I'll understand if you decide not to read it because of this fact. The main idea I'm trying to go for is how both Chloe and Max grieve and come to terms with William's death. Rated M for some language and dark theme.
1. Chapter I: Denial

**A/N:** Sorry about the format issue from before. I appreciate anyone who attempted to make it through that mess. I had never used the copy-n-paste method but file upload wasn't working for me. But anyways thanks for trying to read it anyways and thanks to RedFoxTrotProjects for letting me know about the problem.

This is a sad story. I don't talk about anything particularly triggering that I'm aware of in this chapter but it does have a very sad theme overall. This is meant to kind of focus on Chloe's dad's death and her healing through it. Also Pricefield is the implied pairing but it's so early I almost wouldn't even call it a slow burn.

Enjoy.

Chapter I: Denial

March 4, 2009

Chloe's hands grasped mine and held me tightly as I tried to hold myself together, after she reassured me that I'd be ok after the move. I didn't want to let her go, worrying that any bit of contact between us would be the last. Contact with her felt monumentally important to me and I'm not entirely sure why. Perhaps knowing that touching of any kind would be the one thing not possible after I left.

"Cool. Let's find something fun to do." Chloe says, still grasping my hands but letting one drop and then the other as she pulled me toward the kitchen.

The front door creaks open, pouring in bright light, and pulls my attention to it's direction. I see Joyce and about to greet her when I notice the look on her face. My movement towards the kitchen is halted at that and I glance between Joyce and Chloe a few times before settling back at Joyce. Joyce brings her hands over her eyes, rubbing them briefly. It's then that I notice the police officer standing near the front door, now that Joyce is fully in the house. Chloe sees me looking toward the front door and walks back toward me to see what I'm looking at. Joyce stands there and looks at us, crying.

"Mom?" Chloe says, before walking quickly up to her.

Joyce gently puts a hand on each of Chloe's shoulders. Chloe's gaze is moving between her mother and the officer outside with a look of confusion on her face.

"Honey, your dad was killed in a crash." Joyce says.

"What?" Chloe says, shaking her heading slightly, disbelieving.

"By a semi truck." Joyce continues briefly.

"Dad?" Chloe says, still not believing.

"Chloe, I… " Joyce tries to find words of comfort.

"No… no, no, no…" Chloe says, shaking her head and collapsing to the ground crying, Joyce kneeling down and holding her as she falls.

I look at them, my heart breaking for the first time at the scene before me. Turning my gaze back to the dining room table, I see the picture of Chloe and her dad decked out in their pirate gear, smiling widely. Realization hits me. Like I only just processed what happened between the two women only a few feet away. William can't really be gone, can he? We just saw him a couple hours ago. I don't understand how this could happen. Why would this happen? William didn't deserve this.

Chloe didn't deserve this.

I feel warm tears slide down my own cheeks at the realization that I'll never see him again. This isn't real. I bring my hands up to cover my face, grieving for the man who had become a second father to me. I cry silently for an unknown amount of time, slowly wrapping myself up in a tight hug. My body starts to betray me, shaking uncontrollably, making each breath sound like eight or nine broken inhalations. I want to stop the sounds of my broken breaths but I can't. A frustrated sigh escapes my lips at my body's unwillingness to cooperate. I feel so weak at this reaction.

Looking back over to Chloe and Joyce, Chloe's eyes, red and wet with fresh tears, snap up to meet mine and my treacherous breath patterns continue as we look at each other. Our gaze is like a silent recall of our conversation just a few minutes ago, about my moving away.

Suddenly, a feeling of determination comes over me. I take a few breaths to help regulate my uneven breathing from before. A few tears continue to fall down my face but I drop my arms from their tight hug around myself, using one hand to bring up to my face and wipe the tears away. Chloe notices my change and has a silent question in her eyes. I walk over to Joyce and Chloe on the ground and kneel down.

I reach out and grasp Chloe's arm gently and give a small smile. Joyce pulls back from her hug with Chloe to look between us.

"Chloe, I need to go home but I'll come back." I say, giving a gentle squeeze to her arm before standing again, my gaze not leaving hers.

"Max? Don't go…" Chloe says, quietly.

"There's a good reason I'm leaving. I promise. I'll only be gone a couple hours tops. Your mom is with you. She'll take care of you while I'm gone. I'll be back soon." I say, gently smiling down at the broken Chloe.

As much as I don't want to leave her right now, I have to try. I walk around the two women, still sitting on the floor, and out the door of my second home. I ignore the officer standing by his car and walk off the front lawn, toward my house.

—

I look at the front door of my home for a couple minutes before taking a deep breath and exhaling, reaching for the doorknob. I twist the handle and push it forward.

"Mom? Dad?" I call out, trying to make my voice sound strong and mostly succeeding.

After hearing some movement within the house, my mom comes quickly around the corner of the entrance into the kitchen. She looks at me, obviously worried, like always.

"Sweetie…" Mom says.

Joyce must've called. It's not that far of a walk from Chloe's house but I'm sure Joyce thought I was acting strange when I left and wanted to give my parents a heads up. I do my best to hold my composure as my mom comes over and wraps her arms around me. I continue to focus on breathing evenly, hearing steps from upstairs and then hear someone descending the stairs to my right.

"Honey… Joyce just called and told us." Dad says, as he reaches the bottom of the stairs before walking over and wrapping his arms around both my mother and myself.

I return the hug somewhat, not wanting to get swept up in my emotions and be deterred from my mission. My dad steps back from the hug first, followed by my mother soon after. They both look at me with concern in their eyes.

"Mom. Dad. I can't leave." I say, causing them both to look at me surprise and then exchange looks.

"Now, Maxine, we talked about this." Dad says.

"I know, Dad. But please, hear me out." I say, keeping calm, knowing that if I get too emotional that it will remove credibility from my argument.

My mom and dad both look at each other again and then back at me before gesturing me towards the dining room. I walk in between them toward the dining room and sit down at my typical seat, while they take their own seats across from me. I look between them both for a couple seconds before taking a breath and exhaling quickly.

"Mom. Dad. I think we can agree that this changes things." I say, pausing. "I went over to Chloe's house today, fully intent and agreeing, even if not happily, to the fact that we were moving. I told her that we were moving. She had overheard her parents and knew about it anyways. Even though I wasn't happy about it, I agreed to this move. I respect that you both weren't able to find jobs here and it was something that had to be done for the family."

"Maxine…" Dad says.

"Please, Dad." I say, stopping before he nods. "Chloe is broken. I don't know exactly how to make this better for her but I do know that being four hours away is not the way. And Chloe isn't the only one hurting. I'm hurting, too. William loves- loved me, like a second daughter. I need time to grieve as well. Then having to move schools so close to the end of the year, on top of losing my best friend is a lot to demand of me."

I drop my gaze to the table and hold a finger up to signal that I need a second, before breathing a couple times, putting my hand back in my lap, returning my gaze to them.

"I'm not asking to stay. I know that would be unreasonable. I can't live here without you guys. But what I am asking you both to consider is giving me until the next school year to move up with you guys and for me to stay at the Price's home for the time being. There are only two and a half months left of this year and then the summer. It would give me time to grieve and be here for Chloe when she needs me the most. I know what kind of person I want to be for my best friend. I'm just asking you to let me like I would want her to be there for me." I say, exhaling a breath to signal that I'm done.

I breath slowly as they both look toward me and then sharing a brief look with each other before turning back to me, smiling gently.

"Assuming it's ok with Joyce, I think we can agree to that." Dad says.

They agreed? I can't believe it. I can't contain the smile that spreads across my face and then I start to cry softly, laying my head down on the table. I hear some shifting on the other side of the table, then I feel my dad's hand rest on my back gently rubbing up and down, while feeling my mom's form next to me before she reaches around and gives me a side hug.

"Loss isn't easy and we love that you're being honest about what you need. You're being very strong right now, Maxine and we're both very proud of you." Mom says, against my shoulder.

I turn quickly and wrap her in a tight hug, burying my face in her neck while continuing to cry softly.

"Yes, we're both very proud of you, sweetie. I'll go call Joyce." Dad says, before walking over to the phone.

My mom and I sit for a couple more minutes in our embrace before I pull back. I look at her closely, her smile still gentle and understanding. Dad's voice can be heard quietly in the background. A thought comes to my mind.

"Mom…" I say.

"Yes, sweetie?" Mom says.

"Have you ever lost someone?" I ask, quietly, willing back the tears.

My mom stares back at me solemnly for a few seconds before a sad smile replaces the understanding one.

"I have. My parents both died in the same year, when you were about three years old. My mom in a car crash and my dad about six months later of a heart attack." Mom says, slowly.

I look at her so lost. I didn't know what my mom had gone through. I mean how could, being so little at the time, but still I can't help feeling sad for her. Leaning forward, I wrap her in another hug.

"I'm sorry, Mom." I say, quietly against her.

"It's ok, sweetie." Mom says, after a slight pause.

This time I wait for mom to pull back before releasing the hug. She smiles at me again, a single tear sliding down her face which I reach forward and wipe away.

"I really am proud of you wanting to be there for Chloe. Ryan really helped me with everything. I can't imagine what it must be like for her." Mom says.

"Is there something I can say to make it easier for her?" I say, feeling lost at the thought of helping someone who is grieving, a few more tears sliding down my cheeks.

My mom gives me a knowing smile before reaching up to cradle my face, wiping away my fresh tears.

"Just be there with her. And be willing to listen if she wants to talk." Mom says.

I nod with a sad smile which she returns. My dad walks up behind mom and places a hand on my mom's back. My mom stands back up and gives him a side hug, keeping her eyes on me.

"We've got it worked out. We'll send her some money every month to help with extra expenses and we'll buy you a bus ticket to come to Seattle the first week of August. Let's pack a couple suitcases so you'll be set for the summer." Dad says.

"Ok." I say, smiling before getting up.

I walk around them and jog upstairs. Most of my room is already packed so I pull a couple of boxes open to remove some of the contents and shifting some things that were packed in my two suitcases into the boxes, realizing I wouldn't need some things that were in the suitcases. While I'm packing, I hear my door open. I turn around to see my mom holding another large suitcase.

"I emptied this out for you, sweetie. I want to make sure you'll have enough room for the clothes and things you'll need for six months." Mom says.

"Thanks, Mom. I was starting to run out of space." I say, giving a small smile.

Mom walks forward and unzips the bag before laying it out on the floor next to me and helping me continue with packing. After about 45 minutes, Mom and I have the three suitcases packed full.

"Ok, I think that's everything." I say.

"Yeah I'm pretty sure we didn't forget anything." Mom says.

A knock at the door sounds.

"Come in." I say.

The door swings open, my dad standing tall in the frame.

"You all good to go, Maxie?" Dad asks.

"Yep." I say.

"Alright, I got these two, you grab the last one and we'll bring you over there." Dad says, grabbing the two larger suitcases and heading out the door, down the stairs.

"Got it." I say putting on my backpack before grabbing the smallest suitcase.

My mom watches in amusement as I waddle out of my room and down the stairs with the smallest, yet still heavy for me, suitcase.

My mom grasps my shoulder gently, stopping me from going out the front door. I turn around to look at her curiously.

"Mom?" I say.

"Honey. I want you to have these. They might a little hard for you to understand at some points but you are a mature and thoughtful young woman. I want you to be prepared." Mom says, holding out three books.

I take them, looking at each title before reading the next one. Their books about grief.

"I found them helpful and I want you to be able to understand your feelings and do your best to help Chloe understand hers." Mom says, pausing as I nod. "There are some things you may not be able to help her with. There might come a time when she needs to talk to a therapist. And that would not be your fault if that happens. But I know you want to do your best to help her, so I want you to have the best tools at your disposal to help her."

"Thank you." I say, a tear falling down my face that I quickly brush away.

"You're welcome, sweetie. Like I said, loss is hard but you'll be ok. And if you have any questions about what you read call me. I've made some notes in the margins which I hope will help but I will answer any other questions that I can." Mom says.

We finish the preparations of loading the car, before heading back to Chloe's.

—

I lean forward and knock four times on Chloe's front door, as I've done so many times before, my backpack still on. I hear some noises on the other side and hear the door grunt as it opens to reveal Joyce, red eyed and somewhat damp cheeks.

"Hi, Max." Joyce says, forcing a small smile.

"Joyce, you don't have to smile." I say quietly before stepping forward and wrapping my arms firmly around her waists, laying my head against her chest.

I let a few tears fall as I feel her body shake a little as we hug.

"Hi, Joyce. We're so sorry for your loss. William was a good man." Mom says holding the smallest suitcase, walking up behind us, with Dad close behind her with my suitcases.

"Yes and we want to thank you for letting Max stay so that she and Chloe can grieve together. If there is any way we can help please let us know." Dad says.

"Thank you both so much for letting Max stay. I think it'll be good for us all." Joyce says, a little shakily, letting go from our hug.

I step back and to the side. My mom steps forward and hugs Joyce firmly.

"If you ever need to talk, please call me." Mom says, quietly.

I smile at my mom's support for Joyce. I look at my dad who kind of nods his head towards the living room. Understanding his meaning, I walk over to the living room and drop my backpack in one of the chairs at the dining room table before looking for Chloe. I don't see her. I wonder if she's in her room. But before I turn back towards the front door I see something outside. I step toward the sliding glass door and see Chloe take a seat on the swing set, otherwise known as the Bane of Arcadia.

I slide the door open and step out into the yard I've come to know. I turn around and shut the door, seeing the half painted siding of the house. I shake my head solemnly, trying to stay strong for Chloe. She is blankly staring at the grass just in front of her seat, completely unaware of my presence. I walk over slowly before leaning against one of the bars of the swing set.

"Hey, Bluebeard." I say, quietly.

Her gaze snaps up and locks with mine, a look a relief pouring over her face. Chloe pushes out of the swing and throws her arms around my shoulders, almost knocking me over, before I return the hug firmly.

"Max." Chloe says, her voice breaking.

"Hey." I say.

"I didn't know if you were coming back." Chloe says, her voice confirming how broken she looked earlier.

"I'll always come back to my captain. I'll always come back to you." I say.

Chloe's only response was to bury her face into the crook of my neck and sniffle. She then starts crying more intensely again and her weight starts to give out; I slowly guide us down so we are sitting like Chloe and Joyce had been a couple hours ago. Chloe feels so weak in my arms, I hold onto her more tightly as more silent tears run down my face.

"Why did he leave, Max? Why did it have to be him?" Chloe asks, the questions after those being incomprehensible to me.

"I don't know why it had to be him, Chloe. I wish it wasn't. But I know he loved you. And I know he loved your mom. And I know he loved me." I say, choking near the end and not really knowing if this will make her feel better or not.

Chloe starts to cry harder but nods into my neck.

"And I know… that I'll always love you, too." I say and Chloe stiffens a little in the hug.

A few more sniffles and Chloe pulls back from our embrace. She looks at me closely. I hope I didn't say anything wrong.

"I'll always love you, too, Max." Chloe says.

Chloe holds my gaze but there's something new in her look. I can't quite figure it out, which is rare for me, usually able to read my best friend without issue. I feel a little uneasy with this new look and squirm a little before breaking the silence.

"So did Joyce tell you the news?" I ask.

Chloe only shakes her head, looking at me with a quirked eyebrow.

"I'm going to stay here with you both until the end of the summer. That's why I left. I went to go talk with my parents and have them let me finish out the school year as well as the summer. I knew I needed to be here for you so I made my case and they understood." I explain.

Chloe's expression lightens a little, a small smile creeping onto her lips.

"Chloe. It's just me. If you don't want to smile or be happy just yet, that's ok. I'll be here either way. Just tell me what you need and I'll do my best to help you. We're Max and Chloe. We'll get through this." I say, hoping to convey my support while contemplating what I need to grieve.

I still just keep thinking William will walk through the back door any minute, claiming that Bloody Bill, the scourge of the seven seas, will strike again. I keep expecting it, but it doesn't happen.

"Max…" Chloe says, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I say.

"Thank you. I don't know what I would've done if you left, too." Chloe says, sounding more vulnerable than I've ever heard.

I nod with a gentle smile.

"Max?" I hear my name called from the house. My dad is standing in the frame of the back door.

"I'll be right back." I say to Chloe gently touching her arm, before turning to go towards my dad.

"Yeah, dad?" I say as I approach him.

"I just wanted to check and see how things are going." Dad says, stepping out and closing the door behind him.

"As well as can be expected I guess." I say, shrugging.

"There are going to be a lot of things that you and Chloe will both be feeling over the next few months. And I just wanted to let you know that if you feel confused at any point you can talk to me or your mother. This will be difficult and I want daily reports after we leave. Ok?" I give a nod before he continues. "I love that you are being so strong for your friend but remember it's ok to be weak sometimes, too. Ok?"

This I didn't understand entirely, but I knew I could trust him so I nodded my hand to signal that I had at least heard what he said even if I didn't get it fully just yet.

"Ok, good sweetie. We're talking with Joyce to help her get through some of the adult things. The funeral… is going to be Saturday. Your mom and I are going to stay until then and leave after that. We'll set things up with your schools and everything else. You just worry about yourself and Chloe. Ok?" Dad continues.

I step forward and hug him, which he returns.

"Thanks, Dad. I love you." I say, quietly into his shoulder before ending the hug, thinking of William.

"I love you, too, sweetie." Dad says, heading back inside.

I wipe away a couple tears that started falling before walking back over to Chloe, who was still sitting on the ground, with her arms wrapped around her knees, bringing them into her chest. I sit down cross-legged beside her, leaning back against the bar of the swing set. Chloe sees my legs in front of her then looks back up at me.

"Max?" Chloe says.

"Yeah, Chlo." I say.

"What am I supposed to do now?" She asks.

I pause slightly at her question. I wasn't even sure what I was supposed to do. I couldn't tell her what she needed to do.

"What do you feel like you need to do?" I ask in return.

She looks down at the ground, thinking, and is quiet for about a minute before she looks back up at me.

"I don't feel anything. I feel…" She says, trailing off.

I wait for a good thirty seconds before thinking of a word myself.

"Numb." I say, voicing my own feelings as well.

Chloe nods solemnly. I give a sad smile in return.

An idea comes to my mind and I stand, pushing myself up with my hands. Chloe looks up at me and I offer a hand to help her stand. It was already pretty late in the day but hopefully my parents would let us go. She grabs my hand and I pull her to her feet.

"I have an idea." I say, quietly but keeping a mischievous smile on my face.

Chloe looks at me with a quirked brow.

"Stay here for just a second." I say, before going to the house.

I open the sliding door and go over to my backpack, pulling most of the stuff out and putting it all on the dining room table. I go into the kitchen and grab some things before zipping it back up. Our parents are still at the front door, talking with the police. I walk over to my mom and tap on her shoulder, my dad and Joyce being busy. She looks down at me and smiles.

"What's up, sweetie?" Mom asks.

 _—_

"Hey I'm back. Let's go." I say, backpack secured before grabbing her hand and pulling her toward the side gate.

"Where are we going?" Chloe asks, but allows herself to be pulled.

"We are going on an adventure." I say simply.

A small smile quirks on her lips. I know I'm not usually the one to make the plans but I need to distract her and myself. I open the side gate and push it open, revealing our bikes, Chloe's skateboard and a couple other pieces of equipment for outdoor entertainment. I lean down and grab Chloe's skateboard before handing it to her.

"Ok you hold this." I say, before unscrewing the foot pegs attached to Chloe's bike and screwing them onto mine. "And get on."

"I have my own bike. And can you really handle both of us on your bike?" Chloe says, eyeing me curiously.

"I will find the strength. I know you usually peddle but it's my surprise so you don't know where we're going." I say, getting onto my bike.

Chloe gives a short laugh before shrugging and climbing up onto the foot pegs, placing one hand on my shoulder while holding her skateboard with the other.

"Close your eyes." I say as I start peddling.

"You won't be able to tell if I keep them closed." Chloe says, more easiness falling into our conversation again.

"Don't make me blindfold you." I say, making it to the sidewalk.

"Fine." Chloe says.

An exhausting bike ride for me later, we're pulling up to one of Chloe's favorite places, and one of my least favorite.

"This is just part one but open your eyes." I say, breathing a little heavy.

Chloe hums behind me, descending off my bike and standing beside me while I shift the kickstand down to hold up the bike.

"We haven't been here in a while, since someone has the balance of drunken cat." Chloe says, smirking at me.

"Hey, I know I'm uncoordinated but I wouldn't mind coming here. I like watching skating." I say.

"Uh huh. Well I don't know, Max. I'm not sure if I feel like boarding right now." Chloe says, her smile dropping slightly.

After a few moments, I let out an exhale. I know I'm going to regret this but this is something I have to do.

"Who said we came here for you to board?" I say, smirking.

Chloe just looks at me with a raised eyebrow. I walk over to her and grab the skateboard from her hand before turning around and placing the board on the ground. I hope I'm not as bad as my initial ride with Chloe. I place my left foot straight over the front set of screws and push off with my right foot three times before shifting my front foot to the right and placing my back foot on the back of the board attempting to shift my feet to swerve to the left, then to the right, focusing on the technique that I remember.

"Ha ha!" I say, pumping my fists up in victory.

"Whoa good job, Max!" Chloe says, sounding genuinely surprised.

But my victory is short lived as the wheel catches on a crack and sends me flying forward, rolling a few times before I come to a stop laying on my back.

"Max!" Chloe yells, running over to me.

I wince as I lean up, feeling a dull pain along my forearm. I twist my arm to looking and see a large scrap and some blood along the full length of my forearm, with it bleeding a bit more heavily the closer to the elbow. Chloe reaches me and kneels down beside me, taking a look at my arm.

"Shit, Max! Does it hurt? Are you alright?" Chloe questions, worry on her face.

"I know you've hurt yourself worse than this. Don't worry. I'll be fine." I say.

"Smartass… We need to take you home. Can't have that getting infected." She says.

"I got it covered." I say, shrugging off my backpack and pulling out a first aid kit.

"Why do you have that?" Chloe asks.

"Well…" I start, a little embarrassed. Chloe looks at me expectantly. "I knew you probably wouldn't want to skate and then I knew I would if you didn't that I'd probably try it myself. And me being me, I knew I probably wouldn't get very far without injury. So… yeah. I figured I should prepare."

"So…" Chloe says, pausing for a moment. "You did this…" Chloe grabs my forearm gently, turning it over and looking closer at it before looking at my eyes. "for me?"

"Of course, Chloe. I would do anything to try and make you smile. Even make a fool of myself." I say.

Chloe just looks at me for a solid minute, giving me a look similar to the one from earlier. I got that uncomfortable feeling in my stomach again and I could feel my cheeks heat up in the silence between us. I look down at the ground unsure of what to say before looking back up to see Chloe beaming at me.

"You are something else, Caulfield. Ok let's get you bandaged up and then I'll show you how a real skater shreds." Chloe says finally, grabbing the first aid kit from me and opening it up.

I look up at her, still blushing at her initial remark. I pull out a bottle of water and a rag, pouring some water on the rag before dabbing my forearm lightly, cleaning away some of the dirt and small pebbles.

"Hey let me do that. I think you've taken care of me enough today. I can do this at least." Chloe says, grabbing the wet towel from my hand and gripping my forearm gently but firmly. My skin seems to heat up at the contact.

"Thanks." I say, unsure of what else I could say to that.

Chloe just nods before dabbing and cleaning my forearm all the way up to my elbow. She pulls the rag away and looks a little closer before smiling, satisfied. Then she pulls out some Neosporin, spreading it generously over the entire area.

"You're taking better care of my wound than you did of your own." I say, filling the silence.

"Yeah… well sometimes it's easier to care about other people before yourself." Chloe says, pulling out a large piece of gauze and wrapping it around the full length of the injury. "Plus, I always did enjoy my battle scars."

I look at her with a raised eyebrow before she smirks and I just roll my eyes at that.

"Alright you look good to go. Now let me show you how it's done." Chloe says, before pushing herself off the ground and giving a hand out to me, which I grab, before pulling me to my feet.

Chloe walks over to the abandoned skateboard before picking it up and throwing it forward to get it started rolling, then she jumps onto it, which gives it some speed from the momentum. Leaning to the left, she steers toward the bowl and drops down into it. She crouches down giving herself more speed and she glides along the sides like she's surfing a concrete wave. This is what I was hoping for. She looks so carefree on her board. I think about pulling out the camera in my bag but I am reminded of William so I decide against it. I walk over and sit down on the side of the bowl, throwing my legs over the side, as Chloe effortlessly continues skating around. Chloe performs various tricks from handplants to ollies, various types of grinds before calls out to me.

"Hey Max, check this out." Chloe says, as she's coming up to the side.

It's not I had stopped watching at any point but lands on the side, doing a hand stand on the board before shifting it so that the board is vertical and she inches her way up until she's at the top. It was kind of hard to describe, but it was incredible to see. Her shirt fell down exposing her stomach and the bottom part of her sports bra before she shifted, jumping back onto her board and gliding back into the bowl before smoothly gliding up right below me before jumping to sit on the side of bowl next to me. She grinned triumphantly, leaning back on her hands.

"You should close your mouth." Chloe says, smirking.

I snap my jaw closed, not realizing when it fell open, before gently laying back, hands behind my head, trying and failing to be cool. Chloe laughs softly at me before laying back with me in the same fashion, our elbows touching. We fall into a comfortable silence just looking up at the sky, the colors fading into the bright pinks and oranges of the sunset.

"Thanks for this." Chloe says, breaking the silence.

"Yeah sure. I'm happy to injure myself to make you feel better." I say sarcastically.

"You know what I mean." Chloe says, pushing her elbow gently against mine.

I laugh softly. "Yeah I know."

Silence isn't a good thing for Chloe in a normal circumstance, so I should've known better than to let our silence sit today.

"Max, what's the point of all this?" Chloe asks.

"All this?" I ask.

"Life. Why does it matter? It doesn't make sense to me anymore. Why would God or whatever choose that my dad should be taken away?" She elaborates.

I stay quiet for about a minute, thinking about how to answer my best friend. Chloe waits, knowing that I'm thinking and not ignoring her.

"I don't know if life always does have a point. I don't know if life is supposed to always make sense. I don't know if I believe in God but I think that sometimes life is supposed to not make sense." I say, trying my best to give my thoughts to her.

"What do you mean?" She asks, curious.

"I think that maybe life not making sense, at times, is the way that life pushes you to grow into the person you're meant to be. Sometimes it's ok to feel weak. Weakness forces you to learn how to heal from it, making you stronger than you were before." I say, trying to explain what my dad said.

We let silence resonate between us again. I let it sit for just a couple minutes before I sit up. I push myself up and dust myself off briefly before reaching a hand down to Chloe, whose face has fresh tears.

"Come on, Chlo. Part II." I say.

She looks over to my hand, then up to meet my eyes for a few seconds, and then back down at my hand before grabbing it, letting herself be pulled up. She dusts herself off while I pick up her skateboard and make my way over to my bike. I look back and give her a smirk before getting back on the bike and waving her skateboard at her. She smirks at me as well, grabbing the board from me and taking her place behind me, grasping my shoulder lightly for balance.

"Do I have to close my eyes again?" She asks.

"Only if you want to honor the surprise." I say, lightly.

"Oh alright." Chloe says.

 _—_

Another exhausting bike ride later, I stop at the fence blocking our path.

"Alright you're good." I say.

Chloe hums and gets off the bike. I get off as well before propping it against the fence and climbing over. Chloe places her board next to the bike and follows me over the fence. I walk through the field before us, empty except for a large solitary tree and the waist high wheat that fills the entire field. Chloe slips her hand into mine as we walk, looking away embarrassed. I smile as I feel the heat of our hands, before entwining our fingers and pulling her faster. When we reach the tree, Chloe lets go of my hand and I look over at her, worried. She only smirks and clasps her hand together, ready to give me a boost. I smile back and grab onto her shoulder before placing a foot into her clasped hands, giving the opportunity for her to push my foot upward. I grab onto the tree with my other and feel around for the door clasp, finding it and throwing it back. Chloe gives another final push, catapulting me into the opening so I can grasp onto the sides and hoist myself up. Pulling my legs in behind me, I look down through the opening to make sure she's not directly underneath before dropping the rope ladder down for her. I scoot back to give her room to get in.

"Thanks for not dropping it on my head this time." Chloe says, as she enters the treehouse.

"No problem." I say, smirking.

She shoves me before sitting across from me.

"So what are we doing here?" She asks.

"We are going to spend the night here because we were always too scared before." I say, proudly.

"What? You're serious?" Chloe says.

"Yep. But, not to worry." I say, reaching into my backpack and pulling out a Hawtdog man night light. "I have Hawtdog man to protect us. And extra batteries."

"You're such a dork." Chloe says.

"Yeah." I say, crawling over to pull the rope ladder back up and close the door. I hear her mumble something behind me. I turn back around. "What was that?"

"Nothing." She says, cheeks flushing and turning away.

I raise an eyebrow at her behavior before shrugging and digging into my backpack, pulling out some snacks, coloring books with markers, puzzles, and the tape recorder with empty tapes as well as mix tapes Chloe made me. I load up one of the mix tapes into the recorder and push play before looking back at Chloe again. She looks a little nervous. I wonder why. Maybe she's more scared of the dark than I thought.

"Hey, don't worry, Chlo. Hawtdog man to the rescue!" I say, turning on and placing the night lamp in the middle.

Chloe laughs softly, looking at me.

"So what do you want to do?" I ask.

She takes a minute to look at all the items laid out before her, bringing her finger to her chin in contemplation, humming.

"How about some coloring?" She says, picking up the Hawtdog man coloring book.

"Sweet. I also have some plain paper if you just want to draw." I say, pulling out some blank printer paper from my backpack as well.

Chloe hums before grabbing a blue marker and opening up the coloring book. I select a WALL-E coloring book and lay down on my stomach with the book closed in front of me. I think I enjoyed WALL-E a lot more than most people just because I can appreciate silence. I open it up and select a red marker, doing one of the mazes first. It's kind of weird Chloe being so quiet. I wonder if the coloring book is actually distracting her or if she is just letting her mind wander.

It's not like I don't let my own mind wander off. Chloe should be allowed. I wonder what she's feeling. It's hard to even understand what I'm feeling myself. How am I supposed to feel? I've never lost anyone close to me. I guess I will once I move away, but not in the same way. I will be there for Chloe even when I'm not nearby. How do I feel about losing William? I've often compared him as a second father. How would I feel if my dad was suddenly gone? Not something I really want to think about, but it would be the only way I could somewhat understand how Chloe is feeling, right?

I can't help but remember the scene from Lion King with Mufasa and Simba.

 _Look at the stars. The great kings of the past look down on us from those stars. So whenever you feel alone, just remember that those kings will always be there to guide you. And so will I._

Is that how it works? Do your loved ones look down on you from above?

"Maximus?" Chloe asks, looking like she's called me a couple of times.

"Huh? Oh sorry, Chlo. What's up?" I say.

"What were you thinking about?" She asks, looking at me closely.

I should be honest. Dad did say that it's ok to be weak sometimes.

"I was… thinking about the Lion King." I say.

"Why?" Chloe asks.

"I was thinking about what Mufasa told Simba about the great kings of the past, continuing to look down on him if he needs guidance. I was wondering if that's how it really works…" I trail off, not wanting to upset Chloe.

"You know I read that, ironically, Pumbaa's answer, which is laughed off in the film, is actually the real scientific explanation for what the stars actually are." Chloe says, sadly.

"Oh." I say, still trying to figure out how I'm feeling about things.

"Max? Can I tell you something dumb?" Chloe asks, quietly.

"Yeah." I say.

"I feel like Jim Hawkins." Chloe says.

"From Treasure Planet?" I ask.

"Yeah. I've been trying so hard to figure out how I've been feeling today, aside from just being shocked and in disbelief." Chloe says, pausing slowly at times to collect herself before continuing. "I feel abandoned. It's not fair. I don't understand why he's gone. I don't know why he left…"

Sobs slowly start to take over her body and she is unable to continue, hugging her knees into her chest. I get up from my lying down position and crawl over to her and wrap my arms around her, sitting down as close to her as I can.

"You're allowed to your feelings. That isn't dumb that you feel that way." I say softly, still holding her tightly.

"How is he gone, Max? I never got to say goodbye. I… never…" Chloe says, trailing off again starting that hiccup crying that I was doing earlier.

"I know, Chlo… I'm so sorry." I say, bringing a hand to pet her hair while I brought my face to her neck.

She turned her face into my neck and slipped her arms around my waist, lying fully into me. I held on tight, still stroking her hair, as she continued to shake with sobs.

"I know it hurts so bad right now. But I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. We'll get through this together." I say, Chloe's only response being to hold on tighter to me.

We fall back, lying down on the floor. Chloe adjusts slightly and I pull a nearby blanket over, shoving it under my head to create a makeshift pillow. Chloe's breathing finally starts to settle down as I feel her nuzzle into my side again.

Glow in the dark stars plaster the treehouse ceiling and I find myself looking for William in those plastic stars, hoping for some guidance to help his daughter.

 **A/N:** I know that this is a pretty depressing start to the story and honestly it probably won't get much better. This is kind of going to be what I wish I had when grieving the loss of my own mother when I was just a little younger than Chloe. I never really understood how I felt and I struggle with understanding my feelings sometimes even now, much like Chloe did until the end of Life is Strange. Chloe was always such an honest, hurt character that I myself just wish I could've helped. Everything kind of moves slow with the death of a parent and it was brushed over so quickly in Life Is Strange: Before the Storm that I wanted to go into more detail.

I never had a best friend when I went through this so while I'm trying to let Max be Max, I will probably end up having Max be what I would've been for a friend in that situation or what I would've wanted in a friend at that time. Honestly I just hope this helps someone and sorry if it makes you cry…


	2. Chapter II: Anger

**A/N:** Enjoy.

Chapter II: Anger

March 5, 2009

 _I look around from my seat in the back of the car, out the window first and then forward, seeing a man in the front seat. Wait a minute._

 _"Hey Max. You called?" William says, with a goofy smile._

 _"What? William. You're ok. What do you mean I called?" I ask, disoriented._

 _"You asked those plastic stars for guidance and here I am. What can I do for you?" William asks._

 _"Guidance?" I say, mostly to myself. "Oh right. The kings of the past. Stars. Umm." I try to figure out what I should ask him. "How can I help Chloe? She feels abandoned. What can I do?"_

 _"Oh Max. You always were so thoughtful and considerate. Shouldn't you try and understand what you're feeling about all this? You have said I'm like a second father to you." William says._

 _"I have. You are… were. I'm so confused." I say, covering my eyes with my hand._

 _"I love Chloe. But I'm not here for her. I'm here for you. I will help her too. If she'll listen. Sometimes it's hard, as you know." William says, laughing to himself._

 _"I feel… numb. It feels like a dream I can't wake up from. I just don't know how to process the thought of never being able to talk to you again. To see you again." I say, starting to cry and not sure where this honesty was coming from._

 _"Oh sweetie. The ones we love never really leave us. A part them lives within you, shapes you into the person you are. I'll be with you and Chloe and Joyce forever. We helped make each other who we are. Just remember that and you'll never be alone." William says._

 _A loud horn sounds off to the side._

 _"William!" I shout._

I lurch forward, blinking and breathing quickly. I look around desperately and realize I'm in our treehouse. The night before slowly coming back to the forefront of my mind. My breathing starts to calm and regulate to a normal pace again. I hear a grunt and feel a warmth pressed into my stomach before I look down to see Chloe still pressed into my side. I relax back down against the blanket pillow. I look over at the Hawtdog man night light which is also a clock. It reads 3:17 AM. I exhale before realizing I probably won't get back to sleep. I carefully reach for my backpack, trying not to wake Chloe, and pull out one of the grief books my mother had given me. Opening it up, I start reading. Chapter 1… Grief.

April 10, 2009

I've read each of the three books my mom gave four times. I emailed her with questions when I found myself up late reading, while Chloe was asleep. I call my parents every Sunday and talk for a couple hours and I'll ask them questions sometimes during those calls. It's been over a month since William passed and I'm having trouble grasping these phases, like how long each phase is supposed to last, how to process through them myself and help Chloe process through them as well.

On top of these new ideas that I have to understand, we both went back to school the Monday after the funeral. Apparently, all these books say that it's best to resume as many normal routines as possible which may be helping but it's hard for me to tell. Chloe and Joyce walk around like zombies, sometimes putting on brave faces to push their feelings down. Today I've got a plan which will hopefully get Chloe to open up to me again like she did that first night. Ever since then, it's been hard to get her to talk about it. She seems stuck in this denial phase and maybe I am too. How do I get us out of it though?

The bus comes to a stop and I focus out the window to see that it is my stop. I shuffle my backpack back onto my shoulder before exiting my seat and walking toward the front and off the bus. I walk a couple houses down and walk up the steps to the half white, half blue house, slipping the extra key in and turning it before opening the door. Normally I'd go straight to the dining room table and take care of my homework but it's Friday so that can wait for today.

"Chloe, what is the matter with you?" I hear Joyce in the kitchen.

"What's the matter with me? I haven't even told you my side of the story. You're just going to believe that prick, Wells? Over your own daughter?" Chloe yells back.

I drop my bag on the floor by the front door and close it how I would always close it so that they know I'm home.

"Max is home. I can't fight with you right now. I have to go to work. Just behave, we'll talk about this later." Joyce says, a bit quieter.

I walk into the kitchen and look between the mother and daughter. Chloe with her arms crossed, leaning against the island while Joyce gathers a couple of things into her purse.

"Hey, guys." I say, trying to ease the tension.

"Hey, Max." Joyce says, warmly. "I have to get to Two Whales. I've got money right here." She continues, holding up an envelope and giving it to me. "You girls can order some pizza or something for dinner. I'll be back late. Try to keep this one out of trouble."

Joyce thumbs toward Chloe before walking past me and I hear the front door open then close again shortly after. Upon closer inspection, I see that Chloe has something on her face. Is that a black eye?

"Hey, Chlo. What's going on? You alright?" I say, breaking the silence.

"I'm fine." Chloe says, curtly before breezing past me and going up to her room, slamming the door behind her.

Alright that's it.

I turn and follow her up the stairs. I don't bother knocking because we share the room anyway, so it's part my room right now.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Chloe says, glaring at me. She's used to me knocking.

"No. You what the fuck? I thought we could talk to each other. Why are you either walking around like a zombie or completely ignoring me altogether?" I ask, just as furious as she is.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because my dad died barely a month ago and everyone is acting like everything is the same when it's not." Chloe says.

"He's gone. I wish so much that he wasn't but he is. You're not the only one grieving. I have nightmares every fucking night. I asked him for guidance on how to help you and he's just worried about me. Of course he would worry about me." I say.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Chloe huffs back.

"I'm trying to figure out how to help you, how to get you to talk to me and you just won't. I can't help you and I can't even fucking understand how I feel. My best friend is getting hurt, in what looks like a fight, because she won't talk to me and I feel fucking stupid and helpless." I yell.

Chloe just looks at me, looking like she's deep in thought, while still looking frustrated. I exhale angrily before turning around and leaving her. Descending the stairs, I go the back door into the yard taking a seat on the swing set. I start kicking back and forth to get the momentum going.

I don't understand her. She's acting like Joyce isn't still upset about William or that I've just gotten over his death. Joyce still has to go to work and provide for the house. I still have to go to school and pretend like I give a shit about fucking molecules. I don't understand why this had to happen. Why hasn't William told me how to help Chloe? That's all I want. I see him every god damn night and all he does is try to help me when the only thing I want is to help Chloe.

I just want to know how to help my best friend, just like she would try to help me if my dad had died… Maybe it's the way he died. Maybe it was the suddenness. Maybe… God I wish she would just talk to me. I don't want to pressure her into talking. Should I tell her what I'm feeling? What the fuck am I even feeling?

"So you have nightmares?" Chloe says, seemingly from nowhere.

I drag my feet to stop my swinging movement. Once the swing stops, I look over and see that she must've come out when I was lost in my thoughts. After I look at her for a few seconds, I remembered she asked me a question. I nod solemnly, dropping my gaze back to the ground.

"Me too." She admits, quietly.

My gaze returns to her. I look at her curiously before mulling a thought over in my head. I stand up from the swing and walk over to her. I take her hands gently in mine and lock my eyes intently with hers.

"Come with me?" I ask, hopeful.

"Ok." She says, nodding.

I pull out the side gate once again.

"Is the front door locked?" I ask, getting on my bike.

"It should be." She says, getting on her own bike.

"Good. Follow me." I say.

I peddle toward the main road before turning onto the sidewalk. Chloe is by my side, keeping up easily. Damn her long legs. After a couple minutes of peddling I look over at her and see her eye.

"So what's your side of the story?" I ask, before turning my gaze back to where I was going.

"What?" She asks.

"Your eye. You said your mom wouldn't listen to your side of the story. What is it?" I say, clarifying and revealing that I'd heard their earlier argument.

"Oh so you did hear… well…" Chloe says, pausing for a couple minutes. "There's this girl, Steph and this other kid, Mikey, that I sometimes play tabletop DnD with before school. They've been the only ones I can still talk to at school. Everyone else treats me like the freak who's dad is dead." I nod after she pauses for a minute. "There's this other girl, Victoria, who's totally full of herself and acts like queen bee but she's a freshman, too. Don't know what her fucking deal is… But anyway, she walks over with her posse and starts harassing Steph and Mikey. Steph is a… a lesbian and Mikey is just a bundle of nerves, real introvert. So unfortunately they are easy targets for them. I go over there to tell them to lay off and not only does Victoria keep calling Steph names, but then this dude Zachary steps forward and says…" Chloe trails off, obviously still hurt from whatever this guy said.

"Take your time." I say, continuing to peddle. "And we're here."

Chloe looks up, snapping out of the memory and looks around.

"The lighthouse?" She asks, while I get off my bike.

"Yeah. You trust me, right?" I ask, smirking and holding a hand out to her.

"Of course I do, Maximus." She says, getting off her bike and taking my hand.

I lead her up the path towards the lighthouse. It's a 5 minute walk to the top from where we left our bikes. Once we reach the peak, I take in the sights for a minute, take a deep breath before turning my gaze to Chloe.

"So what did Zachary say?" I ask.

Her eyes widen slightly before her gaze turns to the ground. She tries to drop my hand but I just turn fully toward her and grab the other hand.

"Max…" Chloe says, still trying to gently pull her hands from mine.

"What did he say?" I ask again.

Chloe's inhales start to quicken, becoming ragged, as her exhales shorten. I think she might be starting to have a panic attack. I let go of her hands, knowing that the last thing I want, when I get anxious, is for someone to touch or restrain me. Her breathing becomes more erratic and she grabs onto her arms with her newly freed hands.

"Chloe, forget I asked." I say, throwing my hands up in surrender. "Just watch this." I continue before holding up a finger, to signal to wait. "I hate when my best friend won't tell me what's wrong."

Chloe gives me this incredulous look but I ignore it, inhaling a big breath into my lungs before I yell loud and long as I can, which ends up being for a solid twenty seconds. I breathe in deeply and exhale just as deeply for a few breaths. I turn to look at her again and she just looks at me like I've grown a second head, still breathing a little erratically. She obviously doesn't understand what I'm doing. I gesture again for her to watch me.

"I hate that I have nightmares about William and he won't tell me how to help my best friend." I say, not loudly but not softly either.

Then I inhale another big breath and yell as loud and long as I can, once more. This time I squeeze an extra three seconds out of my lungs before needing more oxygen. I breathe in and out a few times before looking over at Chloe again. She her eyebrows raised in understanding, her breathing seeming under control now. I give her a face that is meant to convey, "Really?", before turning and trying once more.

"I hate that no matter how much I read and research I still feel helpless when my best friend needs help." I say, in the same volume as before.

I repeat my previous actions once more. As I'm recovering my breathing, I see Chloe take a step toward the cliff.

"Zachary said, Why don't you home to your daddy? Oh wait, you can't." Chloe says, before taking a deep breath and yelling in a similar fashion to myself the previous three times.

She goes for a solid thirty five seconds before collapsing to her knees, hands covering her face crying and erratically breathing. I kneel down next to her and wrap one arm around her shoulders and place my other hand on her bicep. I let her cry, which I hadn't seen her do since that first night. I lean my head against hers, continuing to let her cry. I'm not sure exactly how long we sat there for, but it was long enough for the sun to descend below the horizon.

I finally pull back after Chloe shifts a little. I stand up and hold out a hand.

"Ready to get out o' here cap'n? We've got some pizza to nosh." I say, totally aware of how dumb I sound.

"Sure." Chloe says, laughing gently.

We descend the hill in silence before approaching our bikes. I am about to grab my bike when I feel a hand on my should turn me around gently. Chloe then crushes me into a hug, which takes me a second to reciprocate.

"Thank you, dude. I fucking needed that." Chloe says into my neck.

"I told you I'm happy to make a fool of myself for you." I say, laughing softly against her shoulder.

"That's why I fucking love you, SuperMax." Chloe says, squeezing just a bit tighter before releasing me.

"We can do this whenever you want. I like screaming too." I say, smirking before getting onto my bike.

—

The ride back to the house is done in silence. We drop off our bikes on the side of the house before going into the backyard through the side gate. It's pretty dark out by the time we're back. I slide the door open and let Chloe walk in, who smiles in thanks, before going in myself, closing the door behind me.

I walk over to the phone and hit the speed dial 5 button to call the pizza place.

"Hey you want the usual?" I ask Chloe, who is in the kitchen pouring herself a water.

"Yeah. You want some water?" She answers then asks me in return.

"Yes please." I say, before the guy on the other end answers.

I order our usual, a medium sized pizza with meatballs, red onions, and bell peppers, with a side of cheesy garlic knots and 2 liter of soda.

"Thank you." I say, hanging up the phone before calling out to Chloe. "45 minutes."

"Boo. I'm hungry." Chloe says.

"So what do you want to do?" I ask, flopping down onto the ground since Chloe has commandeered the whole couch.

"What are you doing? Get up here with me." Chloe says, pulling legs back and patting the couch.

"You looked comfy." I say, before hoisting myself up onto the cushion and shrugging.

"Well now I get to be more comfy with you up here." She says, readjusting her legs onto my lap.

"Great. I'm a replacement pillow." I say, rolling my eyes. Then I remember something Chloe said earlier. "Wait a minute, you said earlier that you play DnD."

"Yeah…" Chloe says, waiting for me to continue.

"But didn't you say you've never seen the Lord of the Rings Trilogy?" I ask, recalling the remark from a few months ago, the older girl scoffing at the idea of watching it.

"Right. Because it's for 40-year-old virgins who live with their moms." Chloe says, turning her attention back to the TV.

"Are you kidding me? Lord of the Rings is like DnD personified. You're not allowed to be such a science nerd and hate on something so iconically nerd." I say, getting animated.

"Wow. I'm really getting you worked up over there, huh, Maxie?" Chloe says, chuckling.

"You have to at least watch it once. That's it we're going to watch it this weekend. One every night. As long as you've seen the entirety once, I can die a hero." I say, smirking before I freeze realizing my choice of words. I feel Chloe's legs tense in my lap and my eyes widen before I look over at her slowly, gulping.

"Why the fuck would you say that?" Chloe says, before angrily standing.

"Chloe, wait. I didn't mean it. Please don't go." I say, gently grasping her arm.

"Let go of me, Max." Chloe says, pulling her arm away.

"Chloe, please." I say, getting up and blocking the path to her room. "Yell at me. Cuss me out. But don't bottle it up. Your anger is a way for you to understand what you're feeling. That's why I took you to the light house. I wanted you to open up to the idea of releasing your anger. As long as you aren't hurting anyone expressing you anger can help. It helped earlier, right?"

Chloe is looking at me hard, breathing harshly in and out.

"You're not allowed to say things like that. You just don't." Chloe says.

"I know I shouldn't have said it. I was fucking stupid. But I want you to know it's ok to be angry. With me, with Joyce, yourself, with God, even with William. You're allowed to be angry. Honestly I'd rather you be angry." I say, starting to cry a little.

Chloe looks at me seeming confused by my last statement.

"I'm not going to lie. I've been getting angry. At you, at William, at myself. I just kept seeing you going through the motions, like you were dead too. I was worried, because it was how I felt. Numb. And hopeless." I pause, letting myself breathe, a few more hot tears falling. "And if I couldn't see you get out of this fucking numbness to everything, how could I ever hope to get out of it? You were always so much stronger and bolder than I was and I just didn't know how to it. Be the you that you need. I'm so angry at myself for not being what you need."

We stood there looking for a couple seconds before I lifted the back of my sleeve, wiping my tears away. Chloe takes a couple steps toward me before slowly wrapping her arms around me waist. I throw my arms over her shoulders and rest my head on her chest.

"You're exactly what I need, Max." Chloe says, quietly holding me a little tighter. "You don't ever fucking say anything like that again."

I nod quickly against her. I take in another breath before pulling back and exiting our embrace.

"Alright, nerd. Go get your movie. I'm still hungry so I'm going to make some popcorn." Chloe says, walking back over to the couch.

"Ok." I say, excitedly rushing up the stairs.

I plunder through my suitcases to find where I've got my movie collection. There were only a few that I brought with, but the LOTR trilogy is definitely among them. After a minute or two I found the set and pull it out, enthusiastically shuffling down the stairs and back to the TV. I kneel down in front of it, flipping open the box set I have and looking for the extended version. Might as well do it right, in case she really does only want to watch it once. After finding the right one, I open the DVD player and insert the disc. I hear beeping in the kitchen.

"Gahhh, motherfucker!" Chloe shouts.

"You're so impatient." I say, knowing that she burned herself on the popcorn somehow.

"I'm hungry." She says, muffled.

"Get in here, so I can start the movie." I say.

Chloe hums, walking back into the living, before she topples over the back of the couch, returning to her previous position, and losing a couple pieces of popcorn.

"Graceful." I say, smirking.

Chloe tips an invisible hat at me before grabbing a handful of popcorn and shoving it in her mouth. I laugh at her, before she lifts her legs, allowing me to sit and then placing them on my lap. I reach over and grab a handful of popcorn before pressing play.

 _The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it…_

I glance over and already see Chloe totally entranced, slowing her progress on the bowl of popcorn. I smirk to myself before turning my attention back to the movie.

 _Sweet is the sound of the pouring rain,_

 _And the stream that falls from hill to plain._

 _Better than rain or rippling brook..._

 _Is a mug of beer inside this Took!_

The doorbell rings and a couple knocks jar us out of the movie. I grab the remote and hit pause before heading to the door.

"Come on. You gotta make sure I don't get kidnapped." I say to Chloe.

"Yes, ma'am." Chloe says, jumping up.

I pull the door open and we exchange the money for the food, Chloe taking the pizza while I grabbed the cheese knots and the soda.

"Thank you." I say, as he turns away back toward his car.

I shut the door with my foot, before turning back to Chloe.

"So intermission checkin, how do you like it?" I ask, smirking.

Chloe hums nonchalantly.

"You're so full of crap. I know you're loving it. It's a masterpiece so it's ok for you to admit it." I say.

"Alright. I'll admit it's not bad. Better than I thought it'd be." Chloe says, placing the pizza on the coffee table. I place the soda and knots beside it, before heading to the kitchen to grab a couple cups.

"So who's your favorite character?" I ask, knowing full well that mine hasn't even shown up yet.

"I like that wizard. Uh, Gan…" Chloe trails off, most likely forgetting the full name.

"Gandalf." I finish, bringing the cups back over.

"Yep. That one." She says, before taking a pizza slice and eating.

I lean forward and press play before leaning back, both of us resuming our previous positions. An hour and a half later, the food demolished, the screen turns black…

The story continues

On disc two…

"What? They have to continue on another disc. What kind of movie is this?" Chloe asks, utterly confused by the idea of a movie longer the two and a half hours.

"It's an epic. And epic's take time. Plus this is the extended cut." I say, grinning widely.

"Are you serious you picked the longer version of it?" Chloe says, groaning.

"Like you've got better plans. There are worse ways to spend four hours. And I had to make sure this viewing counted since I know how stubborn you are. You'll probably just pretend like you hate it to annoy me." I say, smirking.

"Yeah, yeah. Fine. I'm gonna pee." Chloe gets up, heading to the stairs.

In the meantime, I get up and change discs before resuming my spot on the couch, waiting for Chloe to return.

"Alright second intermission, now what do you think?" I ask, as Chloe sits and lays her back over top of mine.

"Wizard dude is still definitely my favorite. Gandalf. He's sweet. And I guess the main little guy is pretty cool, too. Frodo. I don't really care for Aragorn but I still don't really understand why he's so important. I will say the scenery is so cool and detailed. A + for that." Chloe says, trying to be carefree about it but I know she's loving it.

"Cool. My favorite is Legolas. You haven't really gotten to see how cool he is yet." I say.

"Which one is that?" Chloe asks.

"The one with long, white blond hair." I say.

"Huh. I thought that was a chick." Chloe says.

"His voice is so deep." I say, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Wait so that means there are no chicks in the fellowship?" Chloe asks.

"Right." I say.

"What? That's bogus." Chloe says.

"Well the original story was written in 1937 so definitely not as open about that stuff back then. But you'll be happy come the third movie." I say, knowingly.

"All right I'll trust you. Let's do it! Part 2!" Chloe says.

"Whoa, Chloe. Careful or you'll give away that you're actually enjoying this." I say, sarcastically.

"Bite me." She says.

I clank my teeth together at her before pressing play.

—

 _This foe is beyond any of you… Run!_

"Oh fuck…" I say, quietly.

"Did you say something, Max?" Chloe asks, not looking away from the screen, now sitting cross-legged and fully engaged with the screen.

I'd smile if I didn't know what was coming. How is she going to react? My heart beat races as the scene continues.

"Whoa… that is an epic beast." Chloe says, eye wide when the Balrog jumps out of the fire.

 _I am the servant of the secret fire. Wielder of the Flame of Anor. Dark fire will not avail you, Flame of Udun!_

"Shit!" Chloe says, wiggling excitedly on her side of the couch.

 _Go back to the shadow._

Chloe looks intensely as the Balrog cracks his whip.

 _You. Shall not. Pass!_

"Whoa." Chloe says, as Gandalf brings his staff to the ground. The Balrog steps onto the bridge ready to attack before it collapses beneath him. "Yeah that's my boy! Kickin ass!"

Chloe looks over at me and I give the best smile I can muster. She looks a little confused before turning back to the screen. The Balrog's whip curves and manages to pull Gandalf down to where he is barely holding on. I hear Chloe give a quiet gasp. Gandalf tries to pull himself up before locking eyes with Frodo.

 _Fly you fools._

I watch Chloe carefully as the anguish engulfs her face. Again a look of disbelief. I lean forward and pause the movie as Frodo calls out, "No.", while being dragged out by Boromir. I let the silence hang for a minute.

"Chloe…" I say.

"Why the fuck would you show me this? Why are the people I care about the ones who die? What the fuck?!" Chloe's voice was a decent volume to start with and gradually got louder with each question; she stands forcefully with the last question and starts pacing, threading her fingers through her hair.

"Chloe, honestly I forgot. He's the only good character that has a death like this. Well… one other one but you haven't declared liking him. All the other deaths are minor characters…" I say, pausing. Chloe continues breathing deeply trying to calm down. "I can spoil something but I'm not sure it'll make you feel better?"

Chloe looks back over to me, studying me closely and breathing beginning to even out. She nods, not taking her eyes from mine.

"He's not really dead. I won't say how but he comes back in the second movie." I say.

"Fuck, Max." Chloe's voice breaks, tears stream down her cheeks.

They aren't happy tears though, like I was hoping for; they were broken tears, like I was dreading.

"Fuck. Fuck! FUCK!" Chloe says, each expletive louder than the one before it.

Chloe braces a hand on the back of the couch, the other one cover her face as sobs rock her body. She squats down next to the couch, keeping her grip. I gingerly place my hand over the one she has one the couch and I'm relieved that she doesn't pull it away. She just continues to cry.

"I know why you're sad. Instead of happy." I say, pausing briefly. Chloe does not change her position. "You're wishing that I could say something like that about William."

Some fresh sobs break through. I let her collect herself after my statement before continuing.

"If you don't want to continue, I will understand but I think you should know that they actually handle the mourning aspect rather well in my opinion, considering how common death is in the timeframe they are in." I say, hoping she will want to finish it.

She is quiet behind me for another couple minutes before she stands back up, walking back to the front of the couch and lying down on her side, this time with her head in my lap. I place one hand on her shoulder, pressing play before lying the other hand on her head. As the film continues, I alternate between rubbing up and down her arm and absentmindedly running my fingers through her hair.

 _Frodo? Frodo!_

 _Frodo turns around and a single tear falls down his face._

"Same, dude. Fucking same." Chloe mumbles in my lap. Chloe brings her hand to her, presumably to wipe some tears away. I lower my hand from her shoulder onto her back, rubbing there instead.

The rest of movie continues with relative silence between us.

As the end credits roll, Chloe remains in my lap. I wonder briefly if she has fallen asleep but then she pushes herself up.

"I can understand why you like these movies." Chloe says.

I look at her curiously. That was not at all what I expected her to say.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah. It's quite the tale… I can't wait to watch the next one." Chloe says.

She almost sounds sad even though her words seem excited.

"Chloe. What's wrong?" I ask.

"What do you mean, Max?" She asks, turning to look toward me.

"You don't sound right Chloe. Just… what are you thinking? You can tell me." I say, gently grabbing onto her shoulder.

"The hope that they all try to have even in such a dark world… How do they do it?" Chloe asks.

"They keep finding something worth fighting for." I say simply after a brief pause.

Chloe pauses and looks back at the credits still rolling on the screen.

"Getting quite on me again, Price. What else is going on up there?" I say lightly, pointing to Chloe's head, giving it a gentle tap.

"I was just thinking about what Gandalf said near the end. What to do with time that is given to you… and all that. I wonder if Dad was happy, with how he spent his time." Chloe says looking up at the picture that still hung on the wall of the three Price family members.

"Chloe…" I start. "If he enjoyed spending time with you as much as I do, I'm sure he has no regrets."

I look over to see Chloe with a small smile on her lips and reddened cheeks.

"Would you mind if I told you something that William told me from one of my nightmares? I only call them nightmares because of what happens at the end. A lot of times I enjoy talking to him before the end." I say, babbling a little and getting nervous.

"It's ok, Max. I'd love to hear what Dad says to you in your dreams. Why have you never told me before?" She says, asking question at the end.

"I guess I worried how you might feel about me talking to your dad in my dreams. I just hope he talks to you, too." I say.

"He does… up until… you know." Chloe says.

"Do your dreams always end up with him crashing?" I ask. We've not really talked about our dreams with each other.

"Yeah. I tried a couple times to tell him to stop the car, which he did but it still happened." She says.

"What do you guys talk about?" I ask.

"Mostly just about how I miss him and I wish that my life was a dream I'd wake up from instead of the other way around." She says.

"Well I remember the first one I had on the first night after, in the treehouse." I start, pausing and she look over at me, curious. "He told me that, _The ones we love never really leave us. A part them lives within us, shapes us into the person we are. He'll be with me and you and Joyce forever. We helped make each other who we are. Just remember that and I'll never be alone._ " I say.

"Really?" Chloe asks, looking so hopeful for the first time in so long.

I nod returning a smile. She looks up at her family's picture again before looking back at me. She leans forward and wraps me in a warm hug, tingling my senses all over. Wow. A hug has never felt so electric before. Weird. She pulls back and looks me directly in the eye.

"Thank you for telling me that, Max. It means so much." Chloe says, before standing. "Come on let's go to bed before my mom comes home and yells at us."

"Ok." I say, chuckling softly before following her up to her room.

Chloe's bed isn't huge but thankfully neither of us really like the idea of being too far apart from each other right now. I slip in one side while Chloe slips in the other. I hear her soft snoring signaling that she's asleep within a few minutes. However, I find myself staring up at the ceiling once more. Chloe suddenly throws an arm over my midriff, pulling me closer to her, and I feel a warmness come over me. My eyelids begin to feel heavy and I soon follow Chloe into dreamland.

 **A/N:** I don't really write anger well. Or at least when I write I anger I feel like I usually go over the top. I'm a pretty mellow person and personally I don't feel like I went through this phase of the grieving process. It's just a personal belief that anger doesn't solve a whole lot. But I know some people really benefit when going through this. Feel free to tell me what could've been better.


	3. Chapter III: Bargaining

**A/N:** Pricefield is the implied pairing but Chloe does make a crass joke hear or there to ruffle Max's feathers.

Enjoy.

Chapter III: Bargaining

April 11, 2009

 _Here I am. Again. In this fucking car. On this fucking road. With this fucking man that I just want to hug and never let go of sitting in the front seat like nothing is wrong._

 _"Hey Max." William says._

 _"Hey William." I ask, frustrated._

 _"What's the matter?" William asks._

 _"I…" I try to figure out what I want to ask him. "I keep fucking up when trying to help her. I keep saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing. I feel like she thinks she can't talk to me."_

 _"The hardest part of the grieving process is figuring out what the griever needs." William says._

 _"How do I figure out what she needs?" I ask._

 _"Max… you're grieving, too. What do you need to feel better? Try not to think about Chloe for a second. Chloe has always kind of recoiled at the thought of dealing with emotions, or 'mushiness'." William says, with a slight laugh. "What is your mushiness telling you?"_

 _"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that's given to us." I say._

 _"Ah yes, the wise and mighty Gandalf." William says, nodding._

 _"You've seen Lord of the Rings?" I ask._

 _"Of course. I'm the original dork. Chloe hasn't always embraced the idea of being a dork." William explains._

 _"So I guess I should blame you for not showing it to her then?" I say, smirking._

 _"Ah yes. I shall walk the plank a hundred times over!" William says, animatedly. "But most times it was hard to get that girl to do anything she was convinced she didn't want to. She's always been strong in her convictions."_

 _"Yeah. Well she ended up liking it. And the quote from Gandalf tripped her up." I begin. "Then she was wondering if you were happy with how you spent your own time. I did my best. I told her that if you enjoyed the time with her as much as I did that he would have no regrets. Was that an ok thing to say?" I ask at the end, sniffling a little._

 _"I think that was the perfect thing to say. How did she react?" William says._

 _"Her face was red and she smiled."I say, after a slight pause to remember her reaction, smiling at myself for being able to elicit that reaction. "Why can't this be real? What can I do to save you?"_

 _William smiles in the rearview at back at me before a loud horn sounds off to the side. I've given up on shouting for him. I'm just hate that he keeps fucking dying all the time. Haven't I see this shit enough?_

I jump forward in the similar fashion that I've been doing for weeks now. I growl frustrated. I look down to see Chloe still wrapped around my waist. I look over at the clock to see it say 2:39AM. I always wake up at some point between 2 and 4. I feel like this lack of sleeping is starting to wear on me.

Chloe bolts up in the bed next to me, breathing heavily. We haven't ever been shaken awake at the same time. She told me that she usually wakes up early on in the night at around midnight, most nights. I raise a hand and rub her back. She stiffens slightly before relaxing into my motions.

"Fuck…" Chloe says, laying her face into her hands.

Her breathing slowly becomes less erratic, before turning back to look at me, leaning on an arm. Tears coat her cheeks. We just hold each other's gaze for an amount of time.

"I fussed at him for not making you watch Lord of the Rings." I say, chuckling softly.

Chloe laughs before her face slowly falls back into sadness.

"What did he say?" I ask.

—

April, 2009

The next month and a half resumed in a similar fashion. We would each have our nightmares and talk about them in the morning. Sometimes Chloe would still be awake when I had mine and we'd talk early in the morning before trying to fall back to sleep.

Most days after school, we would meet at the skate park or the lighthouse for a couple hours before heading home. The weekends would be spent either at our treehouse, down at the beach fort or at the house doing movie marathons.

One day after our screaming up at the lighthouse, I had a little side project over the course of the following week where I took some basic materials and slowly took sand from the beach to make a punching bag for Chloe, after asking my dad how to go about it. Once it was finished, I showed it to her and we transported it to the treehouse where we managed to find a way to hang it from a sturdy branch.

When Chloe had a particularly hard day, she'd text me to meet her there.

There were a lot of fights between us during this time but we got to a point where we could yell at each other unashamed, with neither of us taking it personally, and with apologies and thoughtful conversations happening almost immediately after. I think this has been an important phase for Chloe to work through. Anger seems to be a phase of action which has always been how Chloe operates, even though, it's been a little tough for me, not being as angry as she is.

—

May 29, 2009

"Hey nerd, you excited?" Chloe asks, grabbing onto both my shoulders and giving me a gentle shake from behind.

"Yeah. I'm so excited. This looks like it'll be cute." I say, turning around and giving a big smile.

"School's done finally too." Chloe says, sighing dramatically relieved.

I roll my eyes and smile back at her, happy that she is finally starting to seem like herself again. I run upstairs and drop my backpack in her room before going over to Chloe's closet where I have some of my stuff. I change my clothes quickly before grabbing my wallet.

"You ready? We need to catch the next bus or we'll miss the showing." Chloe says, calling up the stairs.

"Yeah one sec. Did you leave your mom a note?" I answer before coming out of the bedroom and asking her as I descend the stairs.

"It's on the fridge and I texted her. I'm super responsible today." Chloe says, smirking.

"More like bored waiting for me to come home." I say.

"You're not wrong." She says, pausing. "Come on, let's go."

Chloe grabs my hand, gently pull me toward the door, before dropping it to open the door and dramatically bow waving one hand outside, gesturing me to leave.

"You're such a dork." I say, feeling my cheeks flush.

"Only for you." Chloe says, closing and locking the door behind her before following me toward the bus stop.

—

The nearest movie theater is a 30-45 minute bus ride away, with there not being one actually in Arcadia Bay. I'm so excited that I don't even notice the time. I enjoy the view out the bus window, so many natural colors between the forest on one side and the ocean, with sun slowly lowering down, on the other.

"Maximus, you coming?" Chloe asks, shaking me from my thoughts.

"Huh. Oh yeah." I say, getting up from my seat.

We file off the bus along with a couple others, before walking a couple blocks to the movie theater. I look to my side seeing the movie poster for the movie we're seeing, UP. Wow it so colorful with all the balloons. I reach into my bag for my camera and kneel down to get an interesting angle before taking a picture.

"Why would you take a picture of a movie poster?" Chloe asks.

"It's not just a movie poster. It's the first day of this summer. I want to remember it." I say, holding the picture out in victory.

"Oh wow, Max. That's so good. The angle is an interesting choice." Chloe says, grabbing the picture and looking closely, smiling before giving it back.

"Thanks." I say, blushing and looking away.

"You're cute when you realize how good you are." Chloe says, softly.

I blush harder and just hum as a response.

"Come on, nerd. Let's get our tickets." Chloe says, walking away toward the ticket counter. "One for UP please."

I walk up behind her and get my own ticket before we head inside.

"You haven't stopped talking about this for the past week. Why are you so excited for it?" Chloe asks, as we enter the concession line.

"I think I really was fascinated by the idea of the house moving with only balloons. Flying houses! It's crazy. Imagine if you could travel that way. You'd have all your comforts while being able to see the world." I say, getting animated and excited again.

"I guess you're right. That would be the best way to travel. We'll do it one day. Maybe not with a flying house, but we'll do it." Chloe says, laughing at my antics originally. "You want to just share a drink and popcorn?"

"Yeah, sure." I say, laying down my half of the money on the counter before becoming lost in thought.

That is the first time I've heard Chloe make a statement about the future since William died. Hearing her hopeful again makes me smile. She's been opening up to me more about her dreams and what happens in them as I reveal what happens in mine. She really does have an aversion talking about anything 'mushy'. I wonder why. Maybe it's because William was always so light-hearted. Maybe it's because Joyce didn't take any of Chloe and William's shit when they would goof off all the time. Chloe was always so much like William. I wonder if that's why she is so angry. I guess losing the parent you feel is most like you has got to feel like losing a part of yourself. But William will always be a part of Chloe. I just need her to see that.

"Max. Maaax? Max!" Chloe says, waving her hand in front of my face. I snap out of my train of thought. "Geez dude, space cadet much? What is up with you?"

"I'm… sorry. Chloe. I… I'll tell you later. Let's go find some seats." I say, before grabbing the soda and walking toward our theater.

"Ok." Chloe says.

We enter the theater and it's not too full yet, us being about 10 minutes before previews start.

"Come on, let's take the back. That way we can make out." Chloe says, smirking before heading towards the back.

I freeze in place, my eyes widen and my face reddens. Chloe turns back to look me and clutches her stomach, doubling over, laughing animatedly while pointing a finger at me.

"Oh my god. You should see your face." Chloe says, continuing to laugh.

I pout slightly before shoving past her to the back row. She always makes these fucking comments just to make me uncomfortable. I guess I should be somewhat glad that she seems to really be getting back to normal but I don't even know what to think about what she said. It's not like it's totally ridiculous. We both hang out all the time, we're here alone at a movie together, sharing a popcorn and drink. This could totally be a date. Do I want it to be a date? I feel Chloe take the seat next to me. No. Stop this train of thought. Between worrying about Chloe, and Joyce, and myself I don't have to mental capacity to process possibly having romantic feelings for my best friend, who is a girl. Also who knows if that would even be how I actually feel. I can't trust how I feel right now. Who knows if these feelings somehow are related to a desire to feel close to William again, or just a way to feel close with Chloe while she goes through this.

"Fuck…" I groan to myself, wiping my hand roughly over my eyes and face.

"Are you ok?" Chloe asks, before eating some popcorn.

"I don't want to talk about it right now." I huff out, before setting the drink in the cupholder between us.

Chloe leans toward me down near my ear to talk quietly.

"Max. You've been here for me the past few months. Even though I'm an asshole sometimes, I hope you know that I'd do anything for you." Chloe's warm breath is in my ear as she speaks.

I shiver because the movie theater is pretty cold and my body can't handle the contrast. She seems to catch my shiver and places the popcorn container on the ground before pulling off her hoodie. She holds it out to me.

"I told you to bring a bigger jacket. You're always so cold." She says.

I look at it for a second before taking it. I feel red flush my cheeks so I quickly slip the hoodie over my head and pull the hood up to hide my face. Chloe just smirks before picking the popcorn back up and placing it in her lap. She continues eating while I try not to inhale her scent off the hoodie. I see her offer the popcorn which I take a handful of, eating a few pieces at a time out of my hand. I pull the hood down after a couple minutes.

"There she is." Chloe says, noticing my action.

"Where's the baby?" I say, smirking.

"There she is!" Chloe says, a manic smile on her face leaning close to my face.

I gently shove her back laughing. She smiles before sitting back again, eating the food and drink.

"Thank you for the jacket." I say, turning so I know she can hear me.

"Sure thing, Maximum Effort." Chloe says.

"Maximum Effort? What is that?" I ask.

"A new nickname. But if you're wondering where it's from, I started reading this new comic. Deadpool." Chloe says, pausing to eat some popcorn. "You probably wouldn't like it. He's kind of a sarcastic ass who's really violent and crude."

"So basically you in superhero form?" I ask, smirking.

"More like anti-hero but more or less, babe." Chloe says.

I smack her on the shoulder, knowing she's trying to rile me up again. She chuckles, lifting her arm up for protection. The previews start rolling. Soon after, the movie begins. I look over to see Chloe smiling at the antics of the young Carl and Ellie.

 _You know you don't talk much… I like you. Well good night._

Chloe chuckles at that.

The movie progresses through their early married life, the realization that Ellie couldn't get pregnant and their promise to each other to resume their dream of going to Swallow Falls. After some life problems come up the dream becomes forgotten until Carl remembers and buys them two tickets, planning to surprise her on the picnic. But then Ellie gets sick. And then it shows Carl at a funeral, sitting with a bundle of balloons.

Chloe stands abruptly, turning and walking out of our row, down the stairs and out the theater. I take off Chloe's hoodie, putting it in my seat and the popcorn in Chloe's seat, before walking out after her. I look to the left and then the right seeing her standing near the exit, just before the tape that cuts you off from reentry. I walk over slowly to her and stand nearby against the wall. I lean in silence for a few minutes, letting her pace and work through her thoughts.

"So." I say, Chloe slows down her pacing to a stop and looks toward me. "Do you want to leave?"

She pushes a hand through her hair nervous and frustrated. "Yes… no. I don't fucking know." She says, kicking lightly against the wall.

"What are you thinking about?" I say, walking over so that I'm right next to her.

She looks up at me, seeming to be at a loss for words. I think for a minute how the scene made me feel.

"You know it made me feel like I wish I could go back in time so that I could stop him from taking his car and maybe taking the bus instead. The whole scene had such a nostalgic air around it. Sometimes I think, what if he hadn't gone at all? What if he missed the phone call from Joyce and never left?" I voice some questions I've had over the past couple of weeks. Chloe and I have been talking a lot but most of the times I have these what if thoughts when we aren't together. "I think there had to have been something I could've done differently and I just feel so guilty about it all, like there was always something more I could've done."

"Same." Chloe says simply at first before continuing, "What do you do with those thoughts?" Chloe asks, looking from her feet over to me.

"Well, I know I can't help having those thoughts but then I remember that as much as everything has been terrible these past couple of months that his death gave me the courage to ask my parents to stay. It gave me the courage to figure out what I really wanted to do. The friend that I wanted to be." I say, pausing for a minute. "Before everything I had been terrified at the thought of leaving you and moving away. I was worried I wouldn't have the courage and the strength to keep in contact. So I'm glad that despite everything I was able to find my courage to speak my mind and be here for you."

"Fuck, Max." Chloe says.

"Whatever you need to do is ok. I will go in there and grab our stuff and we can leave. But if you want to try I'll be right there with you." I say before trying to lighten things up. "And we're in the back row so no one will see if you cry. And even if the other people in the back row sees. Who cares. Fuck 'em. I'll punch them in their dumb faces if I have to."

Chloe laughs sadly before picking me up in a hug. I squeak a little as my feet leave the ground but just hold on tightly around her shoulders. I just hang as she holds on for a couple seconds before setting me back down.

"You're so much better at expressing your feelings than I am. Sorry I'm like emotionally retarded." Chloe says.

"You're not, Chloe. You just aren't as eloquent a speaker as myself." I say, smirking.

"Careful there Maxie, you might fall over with a head that big." She says.

"I like Maximum Effort better." I say.

"Noted. Alright let's go back in." Chloe says, grabbing my hand before leading me back into the theater.

We resume our seats and I can tell we've missed a something but we'll figure it out. Carl has used an insane number of balloons to make his house airborne and flying through a large city when we return. The movie continues with minimal issues, Chloe grabs my hand a couple times and after the third time I raise the arm rest that was between us; she continues to hold it for the rest of the movie. Carl flips through Ellie's adventure book and comes to the last page.

Thanks for the adventure —

Now go have one

Of your own!

I love you,

Ellie

"Fuck…" Chloe says, quietly beside me.

I lace the fingers of our holding hands together, looking over at her and offering a small smile. She leans over and lays her head on my shoulder, sniffling a couple times.

The movie ends and everyone starts shuffling out of the theater, but we stay put. I don't want to force Chloe to move and she has not made any effort to leave yet.

"Max?" Chloe says, head still on my shoulder.

"Yeah, Chlo." I say.

"I was thinking that I would do anything to not feel this way anymore. To not feel the pain of his loss." Chloe says, quietly.

I let the statement sit for a minute or two.

"I read once that the pain you feel for someone who is lost, just proves how strong your love for them was. And sometimes it's good to have a nice cry." I say.

We resume a short silence before Chloe lifts her head and moves to stand.

"Yeah, well next time I pick the movie." Chloe says, wiping face with the back of her hand.

"Deal." I say, laughing.

 **A/N:** Arcadia Bay has been said to be based off the real city, Garibaldi, OR. And I checked and the nearest theater is in Tillamook, OR. So those are my references if anyone is curious. And May 29 is when Up originally premiered. Sorry this is a bit shorter but I think I accomplished what I wanted with this chapter and the bargaining phase can lead to a nasty headspace if you stay in it too long.


	4. Chapter IV: Depression

**A/N:** This chapter may be triggering for those with depression or other disorders associated to depression. If you aren't in a good place don't read this and if you're really not doing well call **1-800-273-8255** (National Suicide Prevention Hotline). It's a battle, keep fighting.

And just to be clear, depression after grief is different from clinical depression in general. There are many different ways that people claim help with their depression but what works for some might not work for others, if you need help reach out. It's the only real way to find out what works for you.

Enjoy.

Chapter IV: Depression

June 21, 2009

 _I'm back in the car. His car, which now sits in the junkyard outside of town._

 _"Hey, Max." William says, from the front seat._

 _"Hey, William." I say, unenthused._

 _"What's wrong, kiddo?" He asks._

 _I stay silent, looking out the window. What's the point of talking to him? It's not like this is real._

 _"It's only as real as you make it." He says._

 _Great, so he can read my thoughts in these dreams._

 _"I'll let you in on a little secret, Max." William starts. "You only keep having these dreams because you still need my help. It's how you're processing this."_

 _"I don't feel like I'm processing anything. I just feel… empty. Totally empty and I don't know how to not feel this way." I say._

 _"Maybe it's how you should feel. Your body is protecting you. Even if it doesn't feel great." William says._

 _"I don't know if I like the fact that I'm knowing what I'm feeling or not. I sometimes wish I knew how Chloe was really feeling, not knowing all these this stuff about the phases of grief. It feels like I'm never going to get better and neither will Chloe. And that makes me hopeless." I say._

 _"No matter how bad things are right now. No matter how stuck you feel. No matter how many days you've spent crying and wishing things were different. I promise that you won't feel this way forever. Keep going, Max." William says._

 _I drop my face into my hands and start crying before I hear the familiar horn to end the dream._

I wake up gently for once, one good thing about how I'm feeling right now. I sit up in bed and rub my eyes for a second before looking down at Chloe.

She's laying down, with her eyes open and staring at the ceiling.

"Hey." I say.

"Hey." She says, not changing her gaze.

I continue to look at Chloe, thinking. She looks as broken and empty as I feel right now.

Pushing myself out of the bed, I go out of the room and into the bathroom. I walk over to the sink and splash some water in my face, rubbing my face vigorously. I'm feeling so tired without wanting to sleep. I dry my face off and leave the bathroom, heading back into Chloe's room.

I walk over to the bed and stop before walking around to her side. She looks at me, confused.

"Come on." I say, holding a hand out.

Chloe just looks at my hand for a second before pushing herself onto her elbows and getting a better look at me. I imagine my face is like looking at someone about to take their mug shot. She takes my hand and I help her out of bed. I lace my fingers through hers as I lead her out of the room and down the stairs. We both continue in silence as I lead us outside and over to the swing set. I gently push her into one of the seats and walk around her, before I start pushing.

I'm not entirely sure what I was thinking when I decided this was a good idea. It's 3 in the morning and I'm out here pushing my best friend on the swing set. Why would I think this is a good idea? I don't fucking know. I don't know why I needed to get out of bed when all I want is to not move. I guess maybe deep down I'm hoping that if I do something that it'll make me feel less empty.

I don't know how long I was lost in thought for, pushing Chloe, before she dragged her feet on the ground, stopping her swinging motion and stands from the swing, turning around to look at me.

"Max. What's wrong? Why did you bring me out here?" Chloe asks, not really angry but if anything maybe a little worried sounding.

"I couldn't stay in the room. I wanted you with me." I say.

"Why didn't you want to be in my room?" Chloe asks, raising an eyebrow at me.

"I was worried if I stayed in there I would not move again." I say. "Something inside me just… broke… that's the only way I can describe it."

Chloe looks at me intently. I think I see compassion and understanding in her eyes. My mind feels foggy though so I feel like I can't trust myself in this state.

"This day will never feel the same." I say.

"Max. Shit. I'm not good with words but I've had days like the one I think you're having. And it just felt like everyone was moving on with their lives, while I was stuck in a hole that I couldn't get out of. You helped me on those days. You won't feel this way forever. Keep going, Max." Chloe says.

I look at her with wide eyes. William. My chest tightens and my breath catches in my throat. I feel a wash of feelings I hadn't felt in days rushing over me. Tears fall down my cheeks and I collapse to my knees on the ground, my hands cradling my face before I fall over and into a fetal position. I pull my knees into my chest. I feel Chloe's presence above me, soothingly rubbing my arm.

"Max?" Chloe says, looking worried.

"He lives in you." I say, before my body is racked by sobs.

She looks at me confused for a moment, but realization dawns her face. She gives me a gentle smile.

"Come on Maxie." Chloe says, grabbing an arm and wrapping it around her neck, slipping her arm under my knees.

I continue to cry, more quietly, into her neck now as she carries me with ease into the house and up the stairs back into her room. She gently kicks the door closed and lays me in the bed. I curl back into my fetal position, not entirely happy being back in the bed. I try to regulate my breathing but am kind of failing at it, my breathes sounding rapid and chopped on the inhale and exhale. I feel a warmth behind me, meaning Chloe got back in the bed, but then the mattress shifts and she snakes her arms around me. One she slips under my neck and almost holds me a like a head lock, which sounds uncomfortable, but is actually so relaxing; the arm is thrown over my hip but she uses it to pull us closer together.

"I've got you, Maximum Effort." Chloe says, to which I wheeze out a couple of chuckles.

—

"Hey, Max? You awake?" I hear before blinking a few times and looking around.

I groan before stretching, realizing that we had shifted so that I was laying on Chloe's chest. I blush a little before pulling away.

"Well I guess you are now. Sorry about that." Chloe says, smiling.

Looking at the window I see the sun is out. Like fully out. What time is it? I turn to look at the clock. 9:43AM.

"Whoa." I say.

"Yeah. Haven't slept that good in a while, am I right?" Chloe says.

"You can say that again." I say. "Did you wake up from another nightmare?"

"Not after the initial one at around two." Chloe says, getting out of bed.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel happy that Chloe seems good. But I just feel like I wept out all my feelings this morning and I feel so empty, just like before. How can this feeling of emptiness weigh me down so much? William said my body is protecting itself. I don't understand how feeling this way is a protection.

"Max?" Chloe says, quietly looking at me with a solemn expression.

My breathing starts to lose its rhythm, slowly becoming uneven. I feel on the verge of tears but unable to cry anymore. I pull my legs into my chest. Chloe rushes over and sits on the bed, putting an arm around my shoulder.

"I don't understand what's wrong with me." I say, quietly.

"Max. There's nothing wrong with you…" Chloe says, adamantly. "Can I tell you something?"

I give a quick side glance before nodding my head.

"Do you remember a couple weeks ago when we were out at the lighthouse? You asked me what was wrong and I told you that I just didn't sleep well." Chloe asks. I nod again briefly while focusing on her face. "You could tell something was wrong because of the way I was screaming. You pushed me through it but I think I was feeling how you're feeling now. I hoped that by ignoring it that the feelings might just disappear. But it didn't help."

I look at Chloe closely waiting for her to continue.

"The next morning we woke up and discussed our nightmares. And something you said, or I guess what my dad told you, finally did help." Chloe pauses here. "Just because you think you're worthless doesn't make it true."

I do remember that morning. I remember feeling so confused with the direction that my talk with William was going in that dream. I didn't understand what it was but I guess my subconscious helped me by helping Chloe, even when I didn't realize it would help her. I feel bad for not being able to get Chloe to tell me what was wrong. I knew something was up but didn't know how to approach it. Perhaps, because I hadn't felt it yet before.

"So, do you want to hear what William said in my dream last night?" Chloe asks, perhaps getting a little uncomfortable under my gaze.

I think for a few seconds before nodding.

"Sometimes even to live is an act of courage." Chloe says.

A silence sits between us as we both just look into each other's eyes. Then a small smile tugs on my lips. I twist and lunge toward Chloe, wrapping my arms tightly around her. She stiffens in my hold before returning my hug firmly and I laugh softly.

"Thank you." I say, still holding onto her for dear life.

"Thank my dad. I'm just the messenger." Chloe says, chuckling.

"No." I say, pulling out of our embrace. "You are Chloe fucking Price. And you are the best person I know. William lives within you." I reach forward and place a hand against her chest. "You just have to know how to ask for his help."

Chloe's cheeks blush and she looks down embarrassed.

"Geez, I thought I was supposed to be making you feel better." Chloe says, chuckling and rubbing her neck nervously.

I look down at my hand, realizing where it's at and pulling it back, my own cheeks flushing in the process.

"You know exactly what I need to hear and when I feel better I just want you to feel better." I say.

"Thanks, Maximus. I'm glad I could help." Chloe says. "I know you're probably not a hundred percent out of your funk but I'll do what I can to help until you get out of it. My mom is doing a double shift at the dinner so she'll be gone all day." Chloe pauses, looking disappointed. "But I figure you and I could make some breakfast and maybe watch a couple movies. Build a pillow fort. You know whatever."

"Chloe… I'm sure Joyce is just unsure how to cope with this day. She's still hurting, too." I say, gently but also trying to make my point.

"I know. But I can't help feeling like she's ignoring me and dad sometimes. She doesn't ever tell me how she feels. We barely talk anymore and if we do talk, all she does is bitch at me." Chloe sounds frustrated, but I can understand.

Joyce seems to be throwing herself into her work. We haven't seen much of her over the summer. She probably just thinks Chloe and I shouldn't see how hurt she is which is what I tried to do for Chloe in the beginning. But I've realized that isn't how she works.

"I'm sure it'll get better. I bet it's hard going from two incomes to one. I've heard my parents say that after mom lost her job anyways." I say.

"Yeah I guess I hadn't thought about that… thanks for helping me to see the big picture, Maximum Effort." Chloe says, grinning before getting off the bed and heading to the door. "Now onward, to food!"

I laugh at her antics before getting off the bed and following her down to the kitchen.

The rest of the day is like no Father's Day I've had before and I wonder if I'll ever have another one like it.

 **A/N:** This one was difficult to write; I had to stop and come back a couple times and I didn't want to spend too much time in it. Depression isn't something you want to focus on too hard otherwise it feels like it never goes away, at least for me. Anyways, June 21st was Father's Day in 2009 if anyone is wondering. Also I thought about these quotes while trying to get into the mindset to write this.

 _"I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anyone else to feel like that."_

 _\- Robin Williams_

 _"No matter how bad things are right now. No matter how stuck you feel. No matter how many days you've spent crying and wishing things were different. No matter how hopeless and depressed you feel. I promise you that you won't feel this way forever. Keep going."_

 _Helen Wilson_

 _"It feels like everyone else is moving on with their lives while I am stuck here, in this hole that I can't climb out of."_

 _\- Unknown_


	5. Chapter V: Acceptance

**A/N:** I've always thought that Max was a pretty lucid dreamer. Also Pricefield is the implied pairing and you'll start to see it in this chapter.

Chapter V: Acceptance

August 4, 2009

 _I have a feeling of sadness as I stare around the car. Looking out the window, the scenery looks more realistic than it has in previous dreams._

 _"Hey, Max." William says._

 _"Hi, William." I say._

 _A sad, knowing smile graces his lips in the rearview mirror._

 _"What's wrong, William?" I ask, trying to understand what's going on._

 _William remains quiet, turning his eyes to focus more on the road. I turn my attention back to the scenery around me, all the colors outside the car so vivid. I hear birds tweeting a sweet song for the first time. The car comes to a stop. We've never stopped before._

 _"William?" I ask._

 _"I think you know. It's time, Max." William says, shifting the car into park._

 _"What do you mean? You said you'll always be with me." I ask, tears starting to form in my eyes._

 _"And I will but we're at a point where I don't need to be with you in any kind of physical way, imagined or realistic. You don't need these dreams anymore. You have to let me go." William says._

 _"But William…" I say._

 _He unhooks his seatbelt and turns around to look at me._

 _"It's time for you to decide what to do with the time that is given to you." He says with a smile._

 _He holds my gaze for a couple more seconds before turning back around, grasping the steering wheel._

 _"Chloe will need a little more time with me, but be sure to remind her to always be herself and she'll be with me in that way. Take care of each other, Max." William says._

 _William lets go of the steering wheel._

 _"Bye, William." I say, tears falling down my cheeks._

I lean up, blinking my eyes open. Fresh tears coat my cheeks. I reach up and wipe them away.

"Max?" I hear off to the side.

"Hey, Chlo." I say.

"What's wrong?" Chloe asks, leaning up on her forearms and placing a hand gingerly on my back.

"William said goodbye." I say, quietly.

—

Chloe and I talked very little that morning. I couldn't fall back asleep and neither could Chloe. Sometimes this would happen after our nightmares over the past summer and we would often go downstairs and watch a movie. I couldn't really decide on a movie from the Price family collection so I found one playing on TV, PS I Love You. I heard some good things about it and after reading the synopsis, figured it might be what I need if my dream with William would be the last.

Chloe was in the kitchen making popcorn. I wonder if she'll give me crap about my movie choice. I'm not going to wallow in it for the whole day but for right now I feel like it's what I need. After selecting I get up and go into the kitchen.

"Hey. What are you doing? I've got the popcorn." Chloe says, turning around and leaning against the counter, waiting for the popcorn to finish.

"Yes, I see that. But I want ice cream." I say, smirking before pulling open the freezer and taking out the ice cream.

"Ah yes, Maximus and her sweet tooth. But seriously? It's four in the morning." Chloe says, teasing.

"A girl wants what she wants." I say. "You want some?"

"Nah. Maybe after the movie. Or I'll just steal some of yours." Chloe says, grinning widely as the popcorn goes off behind her.

"Yeah, you can try." I say, finding a bowl and adding a couple scoops before putting the ice cream back in the freezer.

Chloe chuckles, grabbing a bowl for the popcorn and ripping the top of the bag open, before pouring the contents in.

"Also, sorry for the movie choice but…" I say, pausing because I feel embarrassed. But it's Chloe so I know the worst she'll do is tease me a little. She looks at me closely with a raised eyebrow. "I just feel like it's what I need right now."

"Ok, Max." Chloe says, smiling warmly.

I'm a little surprised that she doesn't tease me at all so I just stare at her, probably for too long.

"Come on, Space Max. Let's get going. Otherwise we'll miss whatever you need to see right now." Chloe jokes.

I blink a couple times before grabbing the bowl of ice cream and heading back over to the couch, Chloe close behind. I sit down on one side and Chloe looks at me before grabbing a pillow, tossing it on my lap and laying her head down on the pillow. I'm a little surprised at her forwardness but I don't mind it; I just chuckle lightly. She turns her head toward the TV and starts eating the popcorn.

"Oh yeah, I've heard about this." Chloe says, after a couple minutes. "I'm surprised you want to watch this but I won't judge. Whatever you need, Bat Max."

I smile down at Chloe, her gaze still fixed to the screen as she mindlessly grabs popcorn. As tough as she is, she always seems willing to let her guard down for me. After watching her for too long, I turn back to the movie.

"Popcorn?" She asks, mouth somewhat full the fore-mentioned snack.

"Thanks." I say, grabbing a small handful.

"Trade?" She asks, with a stupid, pleading smile on her face.

I look down at her and raise an eyebrow but then see her eyes shift up toward my bowl of ice cream; I understand.

"Wow. Ms. Price. So polite." I tease.

"Hey. I know not to come between a woman and her ice cream." Chloe says.

"Alright. Only because you respect the bond we have." I say, lovingly raising the bowl to my face before scooping a spoonful and lowering it down to Chloe's mouth.

Her eyebrows raise for a split second before she closes her eyes and opens her mouth. Her lips wrap around the spoon, the simple action stirs something in the pit of my stomach that I don't entirely understand. What is this feeling? I'm noticing it happen more often.

Before I can focus on it too long however, Chloe hums in appreciation and her tongue slips out to lick her lips before opening her eyes. I feel my cheeks heat up, betraying me, before returning the spoon and my eyes to the bowl.

"Yum. Thank you." Chloe says, before turning back to the TV.

I stare at the spoon. Chloe took a bite with my spoon. I brought this on myself; I'm the one who offered the bite to her. Had we ever shared utensils before? I'm sure we have but I've never been so intently aware of it.

What is going on with me?

August 5, 2009

Turns out William hadn't been kidding about last night being the last dream. I guess I can be glad that my subconscious loves being so blunt with me. Otherwise the lack of a nightmare, followed by still waking up at 3 in the morning, might have been too much to handle. I look at over at Chloe sitting up in the bed. It's like she can feel my gaze on her because she turns around, almost hopeful. I only give her a sad smile and shake my head. We'd both thought that the my dream from last night had been a little too straightforward and therefore must've been a fluke.

"So what did he say to you?" I say, reaching up to touch her back.

Usually she's a bit more casual about divulging what happens. Today… she seems tense, like something struck a cord. I give her a few minutes to find the words.

"If you focus on the problem, you can't see the solution." She starts. "Then he held up four fingers and asked how many fingers he was holding up. When I told him four, he just sadly smiled in the mirror before…"

I nod at her trail off in understanding, before quirking an eyebrow, mostly at myself. From what she said, that makes it seem like four isn't the answer. If that's the case, then what is the answer? What is William trying to tell her? How were the two streams of thought related?

Chloe's subconscious is trying to put things in a way she'll understand it. Unfortunately for Chloe, her brain is a bit more cryptic than my own.

—

After neither of us could come up with a meaning to the cryptic dream, I turned the conversation over to what she might want to do today. She just shrugs her shoulders before tossing her legs off the side of the bed and standing up. Her shirt lifts, exposing her midriff, as she stretches, not unlike Bongo used to after being woken from one of his many cat naps. I feel my mouth goes dry and my eyes widen for a second, but I catch myself and follow her actions, getting out of bed myself.

I look over at her, thinking. We both need to get our minds off of what we're thinking.

"How about the skate park?" I ask, hiding a mischievous smile.

"I don't know, Max. I'm not sure if I'm in the mood." Chloe says.

"Aw, you don't want to teach me?" I ask.

"Wait… really?" She asks, turning around to look at me.

"You know I'll never learn if I don't get in a full day of teaching from the master." I say, smirking.

"Oh, so you're going to practice after you leave then?" Chloe says, calling my bluff.

"Only if you give me a good base to start from." I say.

I have always wanted to learn. My lack of coordination skills was always the thing that held me back, but I want to try. Maybe encouragement from Chloe is all I need to get started. It would give us something in common to talk about too.

"Alright, Maximus. Let's get some breakfast then we can head to the skate park early. No one to embarrass yourself in front of at this hour." Chloe says, before turning toward the bedroom door and leaving her room.

I chuckle before following.

August 6, 2009

My mind is lost in thoughts of yesterday as Chloe and I trek, across the field, to the treehouse.

 _Chloe had found every kind of protective pad she could in her garage before we left the house after breakfast. When we got there, she wrapped me up and gave me a mirthful smile. I look at her, wary of that look. She walks over to my bag and digs through it. I'm too busy shifting a couple of the pads on my arms around to notice what she had pulled out. I hear the worst possible noise that I could've at that point. The mechanical sound of a camera shutter closing and opening. I look up, mortified, seeing Chloe standing there with the biggest, proudest look on her face._

 _"Chloe! Why would you take a picture of me?" I say, running over to her to attempt to grab the photo. "I look ridiculous."_

 _"To give you proof of how far you've come once you're a great skateboarder." She says, matter-of-factly. "And I think you look cute."_

 _I look at her closely, before noticing our position. She is holding the photo as far up and away from my outstretched hand as she can, effectively keeping it from my reach. I am holding onto one of her shoulders, to try and gain a few inches in vain, while also pressing a majority of our torsos together, also an attempt to elevate myself._

I blush furiously at the recollection. Between that memory and the shorter random memories of Chloe grabbing onto my hands, forearms or waist to keep me balanced, I can't help but feel like a bowl of pudding next to her right now.

A sharp poke in my side has brought me from my reverie. I look over to see Chloe holding a stick, playfully smirking, before tossing me a stick. I smile back at her, challenging.

"The battle begins." I say, before lunging forward to start the duel.

August 7, 2009

Most of the day is spent packing up my suitcases, while Chloe stays downstairs playing video games. I know she's only trying to make it easier on me and I appreciate it. It would be hard to pack with her in the room.

My thoughts drift back to Chloe's reoccurring dream from the past three nights. It's obviously something William, or Chloe's subconscious, wants her to understand. I can't help but feel like I've heard it before somewhere. The thought is just itching somewhere deep in my mind that I've encountered it. I think the dream has been weighing her down as well, but her slightly less happy mood could just be my impending departure. Maybe that's what it means.

"Focusing on the problem…" I say, quietly to myself.

I hear a soft knock on the door. It shakes me out of my thought process and I zip up the last of my bags, opting to just ride in the clothes I sleep in tonight, to keep things easy.

"Hey, Maximum Effort." Chloe says, through the door. "You almost done? Do you need help?"

She sounds a little soft. A little broken. Like how I feel. I get up off the floor and walk over to open the door. I lean against it after opening and just smile at her.

"Nah. I just finished. You ready to nosh?" I ask, grinning and lightening the mood.

"Dork." Chloe says, rolling her eyes.

"Pssh. You know you're going to miss me." I say, turning my head up at her comment trying to exude more confidence than I have.

"Definitely." Chloe says, with a conviction and sincerity that catches me off guard.

I turn my head to look at her more closely. Her warm smile doesn't falter as I examine her. I just scoff and give her a light shove, to hide my blush from her gaze, before descending the stairs.

—

After dinner and some video games, we ascend the stairs to her bedroom. I shut the door quietly behind me as Chloe walks over to her stereo, which used to be William's, and picks some music. I walk over to sit on side of the bed before lying down, staring up at the same glow in the dark stars as in the treehouse. I hear Chloe walk over before mirroring my actions on the other side of the bed. Our feet hang off each side, which leaves our faces fairly close. We sit for a couple minutes in the relative silence, except for the surprisingly softer music that Chloe has chosen.

"Hey, Chloe." I say.

"Yeah, Max." She says.

"I think I know what William means in your dream." I say, waiting for her acknowledgement.

I feel her turn her head toward me, waiting. She has learned to be more patient, thanks to me. I think she has learned that I need more time to voice my thoughts than most.

"But I'm not sure if I should tell you." I continue.

"What do you mean?" She says, fully turning and leaning up onto an elbow to look down at me.

I pause.

"I'm worried that if I tell you… it might be your last lesson and William might leave your dreams, like he left mine." I say.

I'm sad at hearing my concerns out loud but I have accepted that I don't physically or subconsciously need William anymore. I know that he's with me. He's a part of who I've become now. But I'm not sure if Chloe will understand that yet. He was so important to her, not that he wasn't to me, but I also remember the months after Bongo died. Chloe was so upset for a while afterwards.

"That actually makes a lot of sense." Chloe says, giving short exhale of a laugh.

I look up at her to see her smiling. I smile at her, too. She's grown so much. I'm so glad I was able to be here for her.

"I think I still want to hear what you think." She says.

My eyebrows raise involuntarily, and my smile falters. She would give up a chance to continue to see William. She's always been so strong. So brave.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"Yeah." She says, nodding as well.

I look at her for a few seconds before deciding to concede to her wishes.

"So I'm pretty sure I've seen this in a movie somewhere, but can't recall which one. Maybe you have too, since you dreamed it." I say, explaining before I smile. "But from what I've thought about it I think the answer is eight."

She looks at me confusion all across her features. I maneuver myself onto the bed to sit cross-legged and gently pat her, hopefully motioning her to do the same. She understands and shifts to sit cross-legged across from me. I grab her hand with both of mine and raise it between us, spreading her fingers apart.

I look at her expectantly, not wanting to straight up tell her the answer. She is focused on her fingers, trying to understand. I continue to gently hold her wrist, silently willing her to look at me.

"Max, I…" Chloe starts, shifting her gaze from her fingers to my eyes.

I smile as realization dawns her face.

"Eight…" Chloe says, curiously.

I let go of her wrist before reaching up a single finger.

"If you focus on the…" I say, poking my finger into her palm. "Problem." I grin. "You'll never find the…" I continue before bringing the same finger up to touch my own nose and giving a playful grin. "Solution."

A huge smile breaks on her lips.

"You're brilliant." Chloe says, reaching forward and wrapping me into a hug.

A blush takes over my face.

August 8, 2009

Rain falls gently. The sky is dark and there is a slight chill in the air. Chloe and I have been silently embracing in a hug for few minutes before I she speaks against my shoulder.

"I don't know what I would've done without you." Chloe says, pausing for a couple seconds before finishing. "I love you, Max."

I can't help but stiffen a little at her words. No I can't do this stuff right now. It wouldn't be fair to either of us. I need time to really understand how I feel about her. Only then could I even consider expressing my feelings for her. I shove my feelings down realizing it isn't the time, considering that I'm moving away and I don't understand what I'm feeling towards her.

I think of how she must be feeling. Like she's being abandoned again.

"I love you, too, Chloe. You're my best friend. Just promise me that whenever you feel alone to…" I start, just trying to keep my composure. A slight pause hangs in the air. "Look inside yourself. You are William's daughter and the best person I know. Just remember who you are. William will always be with you and so will I." I finish quietly against my friend's shoulder.

I feel warm tears on my shoulder and feel her nod against me before I release the hug and boarding the bus. After taking my seat about halfway back on the bus, I look out the window. Chloe's hair, now fully soaked by the sprinkling sky, messily clings around her face. Her eyes look a little red but she gives me that half smile that makes me smile back at her. I lift a hand and place it on the window. She tugs a hand from out of one of her pockets and holds it up, almost in a Vulcan salute kind of way.

The bus lurches as it shifts gears and starts to pull forward. I keep my eyes fixed on Chloe for as long as I'm able before turning forward in my seat and removing my hand from the window. I reach into my pocket to pull out my headphones first, then my phone, texting a quick message to my dad that I've officially left before slipping it back into my pocket. I pull out my mp3 player to pick some music, plugging my headphones in before selecting. My phone buzzes in my pocket. Expecting a reply from my dad, I pull my phone back out but see it's a message from Chloe.

 ** _I miss you already._** \- Chloe

"Fuck…" I say softly to myself, letting my head fall back against the headrest.

I'm in love with my best friend. And now I'm leaving, for who knows how long. I exhale before sending a simple reply back, one that would lead to us texting the whole bus ride to Seattle.

 ** _I miss you, too. 3_**

 **A/N:** This took longer than I thought but I wanted to finish this right. Bonus points for you if you can guess the movie references in this chapter.

Movies and TV shows were kind of how I learned to process and deal with things so that's why there are all the references and things in this story. I've kind of composed this story in a linear fashion but I hope it is implied that between each chapter during those weeks I don't cover that both Max and Chloe fluctuate between all the various stages. The stages of grief are a way to categorize feelings that often happen surrounding a death and each feeling will happen multiple times throughout. This quote is kind of what inspired me of where Chloe could be by the end of this journey.

"I finally understand why I had to go through all that. I needed to understand what true suffering was so I could become more compassionate to others. Even to people like Kuvira". - Korra

As much crap as Korra gets, I would argue that she had a more compelling and realistic growth arc than Aang did. As many flaws as the show had, I think they ended up doing well by the end of the show with Korra's character. But that's another argument for another time.

I feel like Chloe never really got to this phase. Chloe has a pretty good life up until William passing away. She's smart, brave and loyal. However, due to her inability to fully understand and pass through the grieving process, she developed a lot of her character flaws in Life is Strange. Her natural aptitude for science is never realized, her bravery turns into recklessness, and her loyalty turns into being clingy. Like a kind of mentioned before, Chloe is one of those characters I just want to wrap in a hug because she just seems so broken. Anyway, I've rambled enough. I hope you enjoyed it. I'll probably make another story that won't be so serious with these two or at least won't focus around death so much. Chloe's character will be somewhat out of character in my future stories because she was able to deal with her grief in a healthy way and won't be as angry and as blameful of others as she is canonically.

If this story resonated with you or if you've lost a parent or loved one and need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to me. I may not know exactly what to say but I've been told I'm a great listener. My mom's death was really hard on me for a long time and sometimes it's nice to talk to someone who knows. Alright I'll stop blabbering. I hope you all enjoyed this starter story between Max and Chloe.


	6. Author's Note

Author's Note:

I didn't really want to do this because I feel the work should speak for itself but considering that I want to use this as a starting point for any future story I write between this pair I figured it'd be best to share for clarity's sake. First, I wanted to thank the anonymous user named 'Guest' for leaving a review about the confusion they felt towards the last chapter. I was unsure of which reference was confusing so I did a slight update to the last two days of the chapter. I don't usually use movies for references in my stories so this was a little different for me and I appreciate you voicing your opinions and concerns.

So the reference for the overall theme of the story was a reference to Lion King, both the scenes I'll list the dialogue and some context below…

 **Under the stars - watch here (add this after the main url for youtube, it won't let me show the whole link):** **watch?v=l1bWSYG3zgo**

 _General Context… Simba and Mufasa are father & son and lions. They are kings of the valley._

 _Before this scene, Simba was reckless and went exploring in a dangerous area, almost getting him and a friend killed. Mufasa had to rescue them._

"Dad?" - Simba

"Hmm?" - Mufasa

"We're pals, right?" - Simba

"Right." - Mufasa (chuckles)

"And we'll always be together right." - Simba

"Simba. Let me tell you something that my father told me… Look at the stars. The great kings of the past look down on us from those stars." - Mufasa

"Really?" - Simba

"Yes. So whenever you feel alone, just remember the great kings of the past will always be there to guide you. And so will I." - Mufasa

 **Remember Who You Are - watch here** **(add this after the main url for youtube, it won't let me show the whole link)** **:** **watch?v=l1bWSYG3zgo &t=146s**

 _Before this scene, Simba ran away after Mufasa died, thinking that he was the cause of his death. He lived a life of leisure while his kingdom fell into ruin._

"Father?" - Simba

"Simba. You have forgotten me." - Mufasa (materialized in the clouds, no longer actually alive)

"No. How could I?" - Simba

"You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the circle of life." - Mufasa

"How can I go back? I'm not who I used to be." - Simba

"Remember who you are. You are my son and the one true king. Remember who you are." - Mufasa (fades away near end)

"No please, don't leave me." - Simba

"Remember." - Mufasa (echoes)

"Father." - Simba

"Remember." - Mufasa (echoes)

"Don't leave me." - Simba

The next reference comes from the movie Patch Adams. This is the main reference used only in chapter five.

 **Focus on the solution not the problem - watch here** **(add this after the main url for youtube, it won't let me show the whole link)** **:** **watch?v=0xXQkFwAwf0**

 _This is from Patch Adams. Basically the premise is this guy wants to bring the idea that people can heal better and faster with laughter, wanting to change the world of medicine. In this scene, the main character Patch has checked himself into a mental asylum after a hard time in his life. Patch is played by the late great Robin Williams. If you haven't watched it, you should. But I loved every one of this man's movies so I'm probably biased._

Alfred lifts Patch's hand in front of him.

"How many do you see?" - Alfred

"There are four fingers, Alfred." - Patch

"No. No. Look at me." - Alfred

Patch looks confused.

"You're focusing on the problem. You focus on the problem, you can't see the solution. Never focus on the problem. Look at me." - Alfred

Patch focuses on the fingers still.

"Look beyond the fingers. How many do you see?" - Alfred

Patch looks at Alfred, and his vision blurs. His fingers appear to multiply.

"Eight." - Patch

"Eight. Eight. Yes. Yes. Eight's a good answer. See what no one else sees. See what everyone else chooses not to see, out of fear, conformity or laziness. See the whole world anew each day. Truth is you're well on the way. Good to see something here besides a crazy." - Alfred

Sorry for those who understood what I was going for and this did nothing for you but again I wanted clarity here so that motivations in future stories are understood. Thanks again to 'Guest'.


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